Charlie Bradbury (Supernatural): ENTP

Dominant Extroverted Intuition [Ne]: Charlie is all about possibilities and ideas. She enjoys the fantastical, the novel, and anything different. Charlie has a tremendous amount of energy and tends to speak quickly, with one thought flowing into the next. She has a strong sense of adventure an and, more than anything, yearns for a quest. Charlie is extremely intuitive and she’s very good at reading between the lines and picking up on what’s really going on in most situations. Charlie enjoys LARPing because it gives her a break from regular, mundane reality. “It’s an escape. I mean, here, I’m queen, a hero. Out there in the real world, I’m just hacking out code and chugging coffee all day long.” Because her brain works so quickly, Charlie is typically good at improvising and can keep people talking or distract them when necessary.

Auxiliary Introverted Thinking [Ti]: When Charlie is interested in something, she wants to acquire as much knowledge about it as she possibly can. She’s like a sponge, absorbing every bit of information she can get her hands on until she’s an expert. Although she’s a high school dropout, she has one of the sharpest minds at Roman Inc. Sam and Dean are impressed by the amount of research she has done to become a hunter. Charlie is extremely analytical and is very quick to determine logical inconsistencies, which also aid her in hunting. She can easily assess which theories and explanations are valid and which are impossible. Charlie is incredibly gifted with computers. She can figure out systems and machines very quickly, making her an asset to the Winchesters on numerous occasions. Charlie seeks to understand and wants to know how and why things work.

Tertiary Extroverted Feeling [Fe]: While she can be a bit socially awkward, Charlie genuinely cares about people and wants to help them. Even though it’s dangerous, she can’t just abandon Moondoor. She’s their queen and she has to stay and fight for her home and her people. Charlie is extremely empathetic, and is very in tune with the emotions of the people around her. She always picks up on what’s going on between Sam and Dean, and tries to get them to talk to her about what’s going on and how they’re feeling. Charlie typically tries to do the right thing in most situations, though her issues with authority cause her to frequently break the law. When she discovered that the company she was working for was outsourcing to child labor, she outed them, which resulted in her being fired. Charlie is able to use her intuition (Ne) to make fairly accurate assumptions about what’s going on between people (Fe). “And let me guess, in doing so, he did something you didn’t want, and that pissed you off. And you said something that hurt him?”

Inferior Introverted Sensing [Si]: Charlie prefers to focus on the future always wants to move forward. She doesn’t like to talk about her past, and is relatively okay with assuming new identities and leaving things behind. However, she does have difficulty letting go at times. Even though her mother’s condition will never improve, Charlie refuses to take her off of life support, and acquires the money to pay for it by any means necessary. When she can, Charlie sneaks into the hospital and reads her the same books she read as a child. She often makes references, as she is very quick to pick up on similarities between what she’s currently experiencing, and things she has read, watched, or heard in the past, which aid in her sense of humor. She has a habit of quoting movies (often, at very serious or dangerous moments), because she’s “always wanted to say that.” Charlie struggles to respect authority and doesn’t like to play by the rules, which often lands her in hot water.

Enneagram: 7w6 9w1 2w1 Sx/So

Hades (Hercules): ENTP

Dominant Extroverted Intuition [Ne]: Hades has very good intuition and is able to sense potential threats to his plans. After meeting Hercules as an infant, he immediately returns to the Underworld to ask the fates if he will “mess up my hostile takeover bid, or what?” Hades is a master manipulator and very good at knowing how to get what he needs from people. When Hercules tries to make a deal with Hades in order to rescue Meg, he hesitates before agreeing to let Hercules take Meg’s place, because he needs time to run through all of the ways the deal could backfire and blow up in his face. “Oh, well. The son of my hated rival trapped forever in the River of Death. Hmm… is there a downside to this?” He needs time to think of the possibilities. Is there some way this could backfire? Unfortunately for Hades, he’s so eager to finally get Hercules out of his way once and for all that he agrees, unable to foresee that this act of love and selflessness would reinstate Hercules as a full-fledged God.

Auxiliary Introverted Thinking [Ti]: Although he’s a formidable villain, Hades is often able to keep things “light” through his wit and sarcastic sense of humor. He doesn’t get hung up when his main approach doesn’t work. While Hades isn’t an extraordinary planner, he i able to improvise and adjust them as necessary – if one falls through, he just simply throws another curve ball at Hercules. He sees that physical challenges aren’t working in his quest to defeat Hercules, so he decides to rework his plans by attacking him emotionally instead (Ti-Fe). Hades is skilled at debating and he can be very convincing when trying to persuade people into making a deal with him, or getting them to do whatever he wants from them. Hades doesn’t let the facts of a situation throw him off. Yes, baby Hercules is a God and Gods are immortal… so how do you kill him? Well, you just turn him mortal first! Hades always believes he can solve any problem he faces. When he learns of Pain and Panic’s failure eighteen years later, he is still confident that he can prevent Hercules from thwarting his plans.

Tertiary Extroverted Feeling [Fe]: It’s easy for Hades to tap into other people’s emotions to get them to do what he wants. He knows how to manipulate the people around him and searches for emotional weaknesses to exploit. Hades has a very bad temper and difficulty controlling his emotions. When he loses his cool, he immediately tries to regain his composure. He’s usually pretty upfront about how he feels, though he sometimes attempts to put on an act if it’s in service of his primary objective. Hades uses Hercules’s feelings for Meg to strike a deal with him – Hercules cannot interfere with Hades’ plans by playing the hero, and in exchange, Meg will not be harmed. Hades prefers making deals, using flattery (as he did with Lachesis in order to get her to reveal the future), and persuasion as his tactics instead of conquering with brute force. He sees how people can be useful to him and uses that to form his strategies. Hades also plays on Meg’s pain in order to get her to continue helping him take down Hercules.

Inferior Introverted Sensing [Si]: Hades tries to learn from the past and creates theories based on what he’s previously observed (Ne-Si). ” See, he’s gotta have a weakness, because everybody’s got a weakness, I mean for Pandora, it was the box thing, for the Trojans, hey, they bet on the wrong horse, okay?” He tries to convince Meg that Hercules isn’t any different. He’s a guy! He will hurt you eventually! They all do! Although Pain and Panic lied to him, failed in their mission, and often make mistakes (not informing him when the Fates arrived), he continues to use them to carry out important missions, though it’s unclear if this is because he’s failed to learn from the past, or because he has a certain amount of sentimental attachment to them.

Enneagram: 7w8 3w4 8w7 So/Sx

August Booth/Pinocchio (Once Upon a Time): ENTP

Dominant Extroverted Intuition [Ne]: “I mean, when I start writing, I usually have one idea. And then, in the middle, I may get another idea, and things are different.” August is completely comfortable with changes in perspective. He doesn’t mind the unknown, and sees possibilities, allowing him to effortlessly generates ideas. He tells Henry that he hates when he gets a good idea that slips away from him. August thinks it’s important to have an open mind, and spends a great deal of time trying to get Emma to believe in magic. While in Storybrooke, he remains focused on the big picture and uses his creative way of thinking to get Emma to open herself up to the truth. While August is focused on steering Emma towards her destiny, he does give in to the temptations of life in the Land Without Magic. August likes to travel the world and see new things. He spent an entire year, and implies that once he got bored with his surroundings, he would simply hop on his motorcycle and move on to the next place. August is good at improvising in the moment (coming up with an excuse for snooping around Mr. Gold’s).

Auxiliary Introverted Thinking [Ti]: When August has a mission, he keeps his plans to himself, rarely discussing them aloud. Even though Henry is already a believer, August still opts against revealing himself. Instead, he keeps Henry in the dark, recruiting him for schemes while telling him as little as possible. August is comfortable with modifying his plans when he’s lead to a dead end. August’s logic is internal – he can see beyond “facts” and, even though his life depends on getting Emma to believe, he understands that she needs to discover the truth in her own way. He gets that most people are only able to see whatever is right in front of them, but August’s logical understanding is much more subjective. August enjoys working with his hands and fixing things and seems to comprehend how things work. He mends his bike, installs new locks for Mary Margaret, and even tries to regain the bond he once had with Geppetto by working with Marco (Ti-Fe). August is quick to come to rational conclusions about things. Emma can’t see that his leg is made of wood because she doesn’t want to see it. Her denial is so strong that she’s unable to see what’s right in front of her.

Tertiary Extroverted Feeling [Fe]: Getting Emma to believe is essential for August’s continued survival. Sure, he could just say, “Look, it’s all true. The Enchanted Forest is real. I’m Pinocchio, and I’ll turn into wood if you don’t start believing soon!” But he doesn’t. He understands that different people need to find the truth in their own way. He can’t force Emma to believe. He has to nudge her in a personalized way. August is good at playing on people’s emotions, allowing him to easily use manipulation as a tactic in his schemes. He poses as Mr. Gold’s long lost son in order to get the dagger from him. Although he needs Emma to believe for his own selfish reasons, he never uses that to convince her. Instead, he focuses on how important she is to everyone in town. August is quick to pick up on other people’s emotions – such as when he sees Henry in Granny’s and immediately concludes that he’s upset about Mary Margaret’s arrest. He’s able to relate to him because of their shared goal of getting Emma to believe and uses Henry in his plans. August also uses Neal’s love for Emma to persuade him to let her go so, so she can go on to fulfill her destiny.

Inferior Introverted Sensing [Si]: Emma’s need for concrete evidence and proof is one of August’s biggest hurdles. He knows that Henry relies on information he gets from his book, so August steals it and adds the story of Pinocchio to it to push them in the right direction. He relates to people by discussing his own, similar experiences. Emma’s inability to find evidence to clear Mary Margaret is “a case of writer’s block,” and gives her advice based on his way of remedying it. He tells her that he rereads what he’s already written as opposed to “plowing ahead blindly.” He advises her to go back to the beginning with the perspective that she has now to see if she may find something she previously missed (Ne-Si). August has difficulty learning from his mistakes and tends to repeat the patterns of behavior that have gotten him into trouble in the past. August seems to have an appreciation for the old-fashioned, choosing a typewriter instead of more modern technology for his writing. Instead of just telling Emma that he was the boy who found her when she was an infant, he takes her to the place where it all happened, presumably so she can feel connected to her past, and describes the blanket she was wrapped in in order to give his story merit. August has a sentimental streak, and is very reluctant to part with the pendant that Geppetto used to give him life – even when he’s told it’s the only way to save himself from turning to wood.

Note: I did consider ESTP for August, but my final decision is based on how he goes about getting Emma to believe. He doesn’t try to provide her with sensory evidence. Instead, he tries to get her to open her mind. I don’t think that most ESTPs would talk about “going on faith”/”taking a leap of faith.” He admonishes Emma for needing “evidence for everything.” From my perspective, he’s more of a thought/idea person than a sensory person. He’s a bit more subdued than the stereotypical ENTP.

Enneagram: 7w6 9w8 4w5 Sx/Sp


August: Whatcha working on?
Henry: Uh, no time to talk. I got to write it all down before I forget.
August: Yeah, I hate it when great ideas slip away from me.
Henry: They’re not my ideas. They’re stories from a book that I lost.
August: Must be a hell of a book. What’s it about?
Henry: Stuff.
August: Sounds exciting.
Henry: You seem awfully interested in me and my book.
August: No, I’m just being neighborly.
Henry: What are you doing in Storybrooke?
August: I’m a writer.
Henry: You can write anywhere. What are you really doing here?
August: Stuff. Good luck with the stories.

Emma: You going to come in? I thought you wanted that drink.
August: I do, but I didn’t say here. Hop on.
Emma: You want me to get on the back of that bike?
August: That’s what ‘hop on’ means.
Emma: How about if we go somewhere, I drive?
August: How about you stop having to control everything and take a leap of faith? You owe me a drink. Hop on. I know a good watering hole.
Granny: If you don’t, I will.

well. There’s even a legend. They say that the water from the well is fed by an underground lake, and that lake has magical properties.
Emma: Magic? You sound like Henry.
August: Smart kid. So, this legend. It says that if you drink the water from the well, something lost will be returned to you.
Emma: You know an awful lot about this town for being a stranger.
August: And you know very little for being the Sheriff.
Emma: How do you know all this? You’ve been here before?
August: I know all of this for one very simple reason – I read the plaque.
Emma: You actually believe that?
August: I’m a writer. I have to have an open mind.
Emma: Yeah, but magic?
August: Water is a very powerful thing. Cultures as old as time have worshipped it. It flows throughout all lands, connecting the entire world. If anything had mystical properties – if anything had magic – well, I’d say it’d be water.
Emma: That’s asking a lot to believe on faith.
August: If you need evidence for everything, Emma, you’re going to find yourself stuck in one place for a long time.
Emma: Maybe. Or, maybe I’ll just find the truth before anyone else.
[He hands her one of the cups.]
August: Well, Miss Skeptic, there’s one thing I can tell you for sure that requires no leap of faith, and I know you’ll agree with me.
Emma: What’s that?
August: It’s good water.

Ruby: You can’t be serious. A whole year without a roof over your head?
August: Well, you get used to it. Plus, I had the motorcycle. So, if I didn’t like a place after a while…
[Granny calls for Ruby, but Ruby ignores her.]
Granny: Ruby?
Ruby: I’ve never even been out of Storybrooke. What was your favourite place?
August: Nepal. Best people. They have these prayer temples carved into mountains that are overrun with lemurs.
Ruby: What’s a lemur?
Granny: Ruby!
Ruby: Just give me a sec!
August: They’re little animals. And they have these eyes that reflect light. So, at night, it looks like they glow.

August: I don’t think that hot chocolate’s going to drink itself. You’re upset about your teacher, aren’t ya?
Henry: She didn’t do it. Why can’t anyone see that?
August: Because most people just see what’s right in front of them. And I don’t think you’re going to find the answers you want at the bottom of that mug.
Henry: Then where?
August: That a book in your bag? You know I’m a writer. So, I’m partial to finding my answers in the literary form.
Henry: It’s just a book.
August: Is it?
Henry: Yeah.
August: I think we both know that that’s not the case. Can I get a water, please?
Henry: What do you know about it?
August: I know it’s a book of stories.
Henry: Aren’t all books?
August: Stories…that really happened.
Henry: You think my book is real?
August: As real as I am.
Henry: How do you know?
August: Well, let’s just say that, uh, I’m a believer. And I want to help others see the light. That, my friend, is why I’m here.
Henry: But I already believe.
August: Oh, I’m not here for you, buddy. I’m here for Emma.
Henry: So, you want to get her to believe? Why don’t you just tell her?
August: Well, there are some people – like you and me – we can go on faith. But others – like Emma – they need proof.
Henry: Last time I tried to find proof, I got trapped in a sinkhole.
August: There are less dangerous places to look.
[August taps Henry’s book.]

August: What you doing?
Emma: Grasping at straws.
August: Still trying to find a way to prove your friend’s been framed?
Emma: Every time I go down a path I think leads somewhere, it ends up being a dead end. I used to think I had these great instincts… Superpower. Ah, I don’t know.
August: It sounds like you got a case of writer’s block. Only without the whole writing part.
Emma: Maybe.
August: You know, when I get struck by a block, I usually reread what I’ve done, rather than plow ahead blindly. Sometimes, I find there’ll be a little nugget of inspiration left behind.
Emma: You mean start over?
August: I mean, when I start writing, I usually have one idea. And then, in the middle, I may get another idea, and things are different.
Emma: So, your perspective changes.
August: Exactly. When you started this investigation, what was it about?
Emma: A missing person. Then, it became a murder, and then a cover-up.
August: If you knew that then, maybe you would have approached things differently. Where you going?
Emma: Scene of the crime.
August: I’ll drive.
(August follows her.)
Emma: No, I’m fine.
August: No, you’re not. You haven’t slept in days. And, let’s be honest – it was my idea.

Emma: Hey. I’m sorry.
August: For what?
Emma: For doubting you. I made a mistake.
[She hands him a bag containing the bug from the vase.]
August: What’s that?
Emma: Evidence. Evidence that proves that I’ve been trusting all the wrong people. I should have listened to you. This bug was from Sidney.
August: The newspaper guy?
Emma: I should’ve seen it.
August: Well, don’t beat yourself up about it, Emma. Sometimes, it’s hard to see what’s right in front of us, but I knew you would.
Emma: I’m trying.

August: It’s almost nine. You all set? You know what to do?
Henry: Operation Cobra is always ready. I just…
August: You just what?
Henry: I don’t understand what this has to do with getting Emma to believe.
August: Sometimes, other priorities assert themselves. Can you handle a little improvisation?
Henry: Yeah. Can you?
August: We’re a go.

Henry: How bad was it?
August: Getting caught in his office? Not bad. I played it off.
Henry: What were you looking for? Did you find it?
August: Nope. But I have a feeling it’s going to find me.

Mr. Gold: Oh, my boy. My beautiful boy. Can you truly, truly forgive me?
August: I forgive you, Papa.
Mr. Gold: You were looking for the knife.
August: I thought that if you still had it, it would mean that you hadn’t changed.
Mr. Gold: Well, let’s go and find it and see.
[The two of them go to a spot in the woods. August begins digging with a shovel.]
Mr. Gold: I buried it here shortly after Emma came to town. Things were changing. Didn’t want to take the chance of Regina finding it.
August: Of course.
Mr. Gold: It should be right about here, son. Here. Look, look.
[Mr. Gold picks up the dagger out of the hole, which is wrapped in a cloth. He unwraps the dagger and hands it to August.]
Mr. Gold: I want you to take it. Destroy it, the way I know you always wanted to. I found you, and I don’t need it anymore. I chose it once. Now, I choose you.
[August takes the dagger and examines it.]
August: It’s remarkable.
[August holds up the dagger and points it at Mr. Gold.]
August: By the power of the darkness, I command thee… Dark One.
Mr. Gold: You’re trying to control me?
August: I command thee, Dark One!
Mr. Gold: You’re not my son. You’re not Baelfire.
August: Papa, why would you say that? I’m just trying to use your power to help us.
Mr. Gold: Enough! It’s over, Booth. Or whoever you are. My son would never try to use me. And he would know, that this knife cannot harness any magic in this world, because there is no magic in this world. That’s why he chose this place. He didn’t want me…
[Mr. Gold grabs the dagger from August.]
Mr. Gold: Dabbling.
August: So, why bury a useless knife?
Mr. Gold: Oh, I wouldn’t say it was useless. It still cuts through flesh rather nicely. It’s about time you start answering some questions, sunshine. Why the theatrics? Why didn’t you just come to me?
August: I needed you to work for it. I needed you to want it so bad, you would ignore what your eyes were seeing. Do I even look like him at all?
Mr. Gold: How do you know about this knife?
August: I hear things.
[Mr. Gold points the dagger at August, until he ends up backed up against a tree.]
Mr. Gold: No one here knows about this knife.
August: No one here remembers.
Mr. Gold: And, yet, you do. You’re from there, aren’t you? From my world.
August: The fact that you’re asking the question means you know the answer.
Mr. Gold: Well, now that that’s settled…
[Mr. Gold lunges at August, pinning him against the tree behind him. He holds the dagger to his throat.]
Mr. Gold: How about my other question? Who told you about me and the knife?
August: A little fairy.
Mr. Gold: Why did you want it? If you know who I am, then you know who I am. The chances of you surviving this little encounter are pretty slim. So, why take the risk?
August: Because I’ll die anyway.
Mr. Gold: What?
August: I’m sick. I’m sick, and I need magic. I was going to get the saviour to believe. But that woman… I don’t think I’m going to make it long enough to see that happen.
[Mr. Gold removes the dagger from August’s throat.]
Mr. Gold: She trusts you – it might be enough. Try again.
August: You’re going to let me live?
Mr. Gold: You’re going to die either way. This way, at least I might get something out of it.

August: Emma, wait up.
Emma: You heard the kid – Operation Cobra calls.
August: I didn’t think you believed any of that.
Emma: Oh, I don’t. But, sometimes, it’s the only way to get through to Henry.
August: You know, a custody battle against Regina isn’t going to accomplish anything. You need to look at the big picture. That’s the only way you’re going to understand what you’re up against. That’s the only way you’ll know how to beat Regina.
Emma: Okay, new guy. How’s that?
August: Take the day off. Come with me, and I’ll show you.
Emma: And where exactly would we be going on this magical mystery tour?
August: If I told you, you would never come. Oh, come on. Take a leap of faith. You come with me, and I promise you – you’ll find exactly what you’re looking for.

August: It’s not me slowing us down. It’s her. All she can think about right now is getting custody of her kid.
Mr. Gold: Sounds like Sheriff Swan needs a course correction.
August: She’s coming to you for legal advice.
Mr. Gold: And you want me to steer her toward you?
August: I can get her there. To believing. Trust me.

August: You look like you might be shorthanded.
Marco: I get by.
August: How would you feel about… Taking on an assistant?
Marco: I can’t pay you.
August: That’s okay. I just feel like fixing things.

Randy Meeks (Scream): ENTP

Dominant Extroverted Intuition [Ne]: During the killing sprees in Woodsboro and at Windsor College, Randy enjoys theorizing about potential suspects. He was suspicious of Billy from the very beginning and turned out to be right. When the killings at Windsor College began, he remained open to all possibilities and was able to give reasons as to why each person he mentioned could make a good suspect. Maybe Billy tried to kill Sidney because she wouldn’t sleep with him. Gale could be responsible for the murders. She’s an opportunist, so maybe she’s trying to stage the news. He prefers discussing the most interesting suspect and not necessarily the most practical on. Randy’s ideas come from movies he’s watched and he draws conclusions based on what he’s already seen. Randy values novelty and tells the killer terrorizing his college that “Billy and Stu were much more original.” He values innovation and what hasn’t been done a thousand times.

Auxiliary Introverted Thinking [Ti]: Randy is good at coming to logical conclusions. There’s a very simple formula to this stuff. Randy has thought of everything and takes his system for surviving a real-life horror movie very seriously, even though others openly mock it. Randy is quick to point out Stu’s history with Casey as a potential motive. During the tape he records, he says if his friends find it, it means he’s dead, which is obviously because he lost his virginity. Facts don’t phase Randy. When Dewey rejects Randy for suggesting Hallie as a possible suspect because serial killers are typically white males, he thinks that’s why she’d be a great suspect! When Dewey thinks that it doesn’t make sense that the killer is trying to repeat Woodsboro because he attacked Sidney, and Sidney wasn’t killed there, Randy concludes that they’re trying to finish what Billy and Stu started.

Tertiary Extroverted Feeling [Fe]: Although it’s common knowledge that Randy has feelings for Sidney, he never actually discusses them with her. Randy enjoys playing on his friend’s feelings for his own amusement, such as telling Tatum that Casey was the one who dumped Stu (which Stu denies). Randy can sometimes be a little oblivious to other people’s feelings (such as making jokes about the murders in front of Sidney, who was clearly very disturbed by it). He also tries to relate to Dewey about their shared unrequited loves. Randy often displays good insight into people. He can clearly see that Billy has the potential to be a murderer.

Inferior Introverted Sensing [Si]: The “rules” of horror movies are gospel. Randy has committed every horror movie cliché to memory and uses them as his guide. He takes them very seriously, while his friends poke fun at them. You can’t have sex. You should never say “I’ll be right back.” There’s always more blood and more gore in the second. In the third one, all bets are off. Even Sidney is expendable. Although Randy pays a lot of attention to these standards, he enjoys when things aren’t predictable. Even though the signs are there, Randy initially denies that there’s another serial killer after them. During a phone call, Randy scathingly berates the killer for their lack of originality. He also has a very good memory when it comes to movies and can recite many lines word-for-word.

Enneagram: 5w6 Sp/Sx


Tatum: Hunt? Why would they ask if you like to hunt?
Randy: Because their bodies were gutted.
[Sidney flinches.]
Billy: Thanks, Randy.
Tatum: They didn’t ask me if I like to hunt.
Stu: That’s cause there’s no way a girl could have killed them.
Tatum: That is so sexist. The killer could easily be female – Basic Instinct.
Randy: That was an ice pick-not exactly the same.
Stu: Yeah, Casey and Steve were completely hollowed out. And the fact is, it takes a man to do something like that.
Tatum: Or a man’s mentality.
Sidney: How do you gut someone?
Stu: You take a knife and you slit ’em from groin to sternum.
Billy: Hey. It’s called tact, you fuckrag.

Sidney: Hey, Stu? Didn’t you use to date Casey?
Stu: For about two seconds.
Randy: Before she dumped him for Steve.
Tatum: I thought you dumped her for me.
Stu: I did. He’s full of shit.
Randy: And are the police aware you dated the victim?
Stu: What are you saying? That I killed ’em?
Randy: It would certainly improve your high school Q.
Tatum: Stu was with me last night.
Randy: Was that before or after he sliced and diced?
Tatum: Fuck you, nut case. Where were you last night?
Randy: Working, thank you.
Tatum: Oh, at the video store? I thought they fired your sorry ass.
Randy: Twice.
Stu: I didn’t kill anybody.
Billy: Nobody said you did.
Randy: Besides – it takes a man to do something like that.
Stu: Yo, I’m gonna gut your ass in a second, kid.
Randy: Did you really put her liver in the mailbox? Because I heard that they found her liver in the mailbox, right next to her spleen and her pancreas.
Tatum: Randy, you goon-fuck. We’re trying to eat here.
Stu: Yeah, Randy, she’s getting mad. You better liver alone.

Randy: Now that’s in poor taste.
Stu: What?
Randy: If you were the only suspect in a senseless blood bath – would you be standing in the horror section?
Stu: It was just a misunderstanding. He didn’t do anything.
Randy: You’re such a little lapdog. He’s got “killer” printed all over his forehead.
Stu: Really? Then why’d the cops let him go, smart guy?
Randy: Cause obviously they don’t want enough movies. This is standard horror movie stuff. Prom Night revisited, man.
Stu: Why would he want to kill his own girlfriend?
Randy: There’s always some stupid bullshit reason to kill your girlfriend. That’s the beauty of it all. Simplicity. Besides, if it gets too complicated, you lose your target audience.
Stu: Well, what’s his reason?
Randy: Maybe Sidney wouldn’t have sex with him.
Stu: What, she’s saving herself for you?
Randy: Maybe. Now that Billy tried to mutilate her, do you think Sid would go out with me?
Stu: No. I don’t. At all. No. You know who I think it is? I think it’s her father. I mean, why can’t they find her pops, man?
Randy: Because he’s probably dead! His body will come popping up in the last reel somewhere! Eyes gouged out! Fingers cut off! Teeth knocked out! See, the police are always off track with this shit. If they’d watch Prom Night they’d save time. There’s a formula to it! A very simple formula! Everybody’s a suspect! I’m telling you, the dad’s a red herring. It’s Billy.

Randy: There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie. For instance, number one: you can never have sex.
[crowd boos]
Stu: I’m a dead man.
Randy: BIG NO NO! BIG NO NO! Sex equals death, okay? Number two: you can never drink or do drugs.
[crowd cheers and raises their bottles]
Randy: The sin factor! It’s a sin. It’s an extension of number one. And number three: never, ever, ever under any circumstances say, “I’ll be right back.” Because you won’t be back.
Stu: I’m gettin’ another beer, you want one?
Randy: Yeah, sure.
Stu: I’ll be right back.
Randy: See, you push the laws and you end up dead. Okay, I’ll see you in the kitchen with a knife.

Film Teacher: You could say that what happened in that theatre was a direct result of the movie itself.
Cici: That is so Moral Majority. You can’t blame real life violence on entertainment.
Film Class Guy #1: Yes you can. Don’t you ever watch the news?
Film Class Guy #2: Hello? The murderer was wearing a ghost mask just like in the movie. It’s directly responsible.
Cici: No, it’s not. Movies are not responsible for our actions.
Mickey: Its a classic case of life, imitating art, imitating life.
Film Class Mopey Girl: Its not hypothetical, it’s not about art. I had biology with that girl. This is reality.
Randy: Thank you. I agree with you. Let me tell you about reality, Mickey. I lived through this, okay? Life is life. It doesn’t imitate anything.
Mickey: Oh come on Randy. With all due respect, the killer obviously patterned himself after two serial killers who were immortalized on film.
Film Class Guy #2: Thank you!
Film Teacher: So, you’re suggesting that someone is trying to make a real life sequel?
Randy: Stab 2? Who would wanna do that? Sequels suck! Oh please, please! By definition alone, sequels are inferior films!
Mickey: It’s bullshit generalization. Many sequels have surpassed their originals.
Randy: Oh yeah?
Cici: Name one.
Film Class Guy #1: Aliens. Far better than the first.
Cici: Yeah, well, there’s no accounting for taste.
Randy: Thank you. Ridley Scott Rules. Name another.
Film Class Guy #2: No way. Aliens is a classic. “Get away from her, you bitch!”
Randy: I believe the line is “Stay away from her, you bitch.” This is a film class right?
Film Class Guy #2: Yeah, yeah. Whatever. You know what I mean.

Sidney: 300 people watched. Nobody did anything. They thought it was a publicity for Christ sakes.
Randy: [Speaking in a British accent] And it would have been a good one too.
Sidney: It’s starting again, Randy.
Randy: It’s not. A lot of shit happens at the movies. People get robbed, shot, maimed, murdered. Multiplexes are very dangerous places to be these days.
Sidney: Yeah, and you are in extreme denial.
Randy: You should be too. This has nothing to do with us.
Sidney: Randy! A guy in a ghost mask hacked up two people in a movie theater telling our life story.
Randy: Coincidence?
Sidney: You know what happened at Woodsboro, Randy. You can’t ignore it.
Randy: I know, Sid, and I don’t want to go back there again. Can’t we just go back to our pseudo-quasi happy existence?

Randy: [Gale, Sidney and Randy are looking at Billy’s body] Careful. This is the moment when the supposedly dead killer comes back to life, for one last scare.

Randy: The way I see it, someone’s out to make a sequel. You know, cash in on all the movie murder hoopla. So it’s our job to observe the rules of the sequel. Number one: The body count is always bigger. Two: The death scenes are always much more elaborate; more blood, more gore. Carnage candy. Your core audience just expects it. And three: If you want your sequel
to become a franchise, never ever-
Dewey: How do we find the killer, Randy? That’s what I wanna know.
Randy: Oh. Let’s look at the suspects. There’s Derek, the obvious boyfriend. Hello, Billy Loomis. The guy’s premed, and his pity-me surface wound conveniently missed every major vein and artery.
Dewey: So you think it’s Derek?
Randy: Not so fast. Let’s assume the killer, or ‘ers, has a half a brain. He’s not a Nick-at-Night rerun type of guy. He wants to break some new ground. Right? So forget the boyfriend. It’s tired. Who else do we got?
Dewey: There’s-
Randy: Mickey! The freaky Tarantino film student. But if he’s a suspect, so am I. So, let’s move on.
Dewey: Whoa, wait a minute. Let’s not move on. Maybe you are a suspect.
Randy: Well, if I’m a suspect, you’re a suspect.
Dewey: You have a point. Okay, let’s move on to-
Randy: Hallie.
Dewey: Sid’s roommate?
Randy: Uh-huh.
Dewey: Serial killers are typically white males.
Randy: That’s why it’s perfect. It’s sort of against the rules, but not really. Mrs. Voorhees was a terrific serial killer. And there’s always room for Candyman’s daughter. She’s sweet. She’s deadly. She’s bad for your teeth.
Dewey: Come on, Randy. These kids are your friends. Who do you think’s the killer?
Randy: How about Gale Weathers?
Dewey: Gale? A killer?
Randy: Why not?
Dewey: Well, she is vicious enough.
Randy: She’s an opportunist.
Dewey: Yeah.
Randy: Isn’t it conceivable she’s planning her next book? That’s what reporters do, Dewey. They stage the news.
Dewey: No. Gale’s a lot of things, but Gale’s not a killer.
Randy: Just because you’re sweet on her-
Dewey: No, I’m not.
Randy: Please, this is me talking. Randy, the unrequited love-slave of Sidney Prescott. I know all about obsession… and pain.
Dewey: You’ve got your love scar to prove it.
Randy: And so do you. And what’s with that limp anyway, ’cause you were stabbed in the back.
Dewey: Severed nerve. Look, Gale’s no killer.
Randy: Okay, okay. Whatever you say. But if she’s not a killer, she’s a target.

Gale: All right. Let’s just assume the killer is repeating Woodsboro- [cell phone starts to ring] Yes?
Caller: I have Bob calling.
Gale: I’ll have to call you back.
Dewey: That doesn’t explain Sidney’s attack. Sidney wasn’t killed in Woodsboro.
Randy: Wasn’t for a lack of trying. The killer’s trying to finish what was started.

Randy: Is that the best you can do? Because Billy and Stu were much more original.

Randy: Where’s your innovation? Why copycat two high school loser-ass dickheads? Stu was a pussy-ass wet rag. And Billy Loomis- Billy Loomis! What the fuck! Jesus! What a rat-lookin’, homo-repressed mama’s boy! Why not set your goals higher, huh? You wanna be one of the big boys? Huh? Manson, Bundy, O.J., Son-

Randy: Told ya I’d make a movie someday, huh?
Sidney: Oh my god.
Randy: Well, if you’re watching this tape, it means as I feared. I did not survive these killings here at Windsor College. And that giving up my virginity to Karen Kolchec at the video store was probably not a good idea.
Dewey: Karen Kolchec?
Randy: Yes, Karen Kolchec.
Dewey: Creepy Karen?
Randy: Shut up. She’s a sweet person, okay? We were working late. We were putting away some videos in the porno section and ya know, shit happens.
Paul: [Knocking in background] Open the door Randy.
Randy: Fifteen minutes.
Paul: It’s my room, too.
Randy: Paul, 15 minutes. I’m leaving my legacy.
[knocking continues]
Randy: Fifteen minutes Paul! Damn! Anyway, the reason I am here is to help you so that my death will not be in vain; That my life’s work will save some other poor soul from getting mutilated. If this killer does come back and he’s for real, there are a few things that you gotta remember. Is this simply another sequel? Well if it is, same rules apply. But-here’s the critical thing-if you find yourself dealing with an unexpected back story and a preponderance of exposition, then the sequel rules DO NOT apply. Because you are not dealing with a sequel, you are dealing with the concluding chapter of a trilogy.
Dewey: Trilogy?
Randy: That’s right, it’s a rarity in the horror field but it does exist, and it is a force to be reckoned with. Because true trilogies are all about going back to the beginning and discovering something that wasn’t true from the get go. Godfather, Jedi, all revealed something that we thought was true that wasn’t true. So if it is a trilogy you are dealing with, here are some super trilogy rules: 1. You got a killer who’s going to be super human. Stabbing him won’t work. Shooting him won’t work. Basically in the third one you gotta cryogenically freeze his head, decapitate him, or blow him up. 2. Anyone including the main character can die. This means you, Sid. I’m sorry. It’s the final chapter. It could be fucking ‘Reservoir Dogs’ by the time this thing is through. Number 3. The past will come back to bite you in the ass. Whatever you think you know about the past, forget it. The past is not at rest. Any sins you think were committed in the past are about to break out and destroy you. So in closing, let me say good luck, god speed, and for some of you, I’ll see you soon. ‘Cause the rules say some of you ain’t gonna make it. I didn’t. Not if you’re watching this tape.

Jack Skellington (The Nightmare Before Christmas): ENTP

Dominant Extroverted Intuition [Ne]: Jack is instantly taken with Christmas because it’s a new, refreshing change of pace and he wants to explore as much of it as he possibly can! Jack’s ideas come from external sources. He is inspired by everything he sees in Christmas Town, which gives him the idea to try it in Halloween Town. He wants to make it his own and he excitedly jumps from experience to experience while in Christmas Town. He’s thrilled with all of the possibilities and novelty, and is drawn to Christmas Town because of all of the ways that it is different than Halloween Town. It seems like so much fun! Everything he saw intrigued him and he was completely captivated by every experience he had. Because he was so enthralled, his mind went into a frenzy over it, and he immediately needed to share it with everyone back in Halloween Town (Ne-Fe).

Auxiliary Introverted Thinking [Ti]: When Jack arrives in Christmas Town, he wants to understand it. He joyously runs around the entire town, observing and asking questions about everything he encounters. What is this place? They have a tree! Why are the putting lights on it? Jack’s sense of logic is entirely subjective. He is convinced that the best way to improve Halloween Town is by bringing Christmas to it. Jack’s brain went into a frenzy because of everything he was introduced to in Christmas Town. He wants to make everyone understand Christmas Land and tries to teach them about it, even though Jack himself doesn’t fully comprehend it. He spends time alone, trying to come up with a logical way to explain Christmas to the residents of Halloween Town. He performs scientific experiments, ponders equations, and runs tests in order to gain a deeper insight into the meaning of Christmas. Jack is completely overwhelmed by all of the information he’s trying to soak up and becomes obsessed with learning about Christmas. He’s so confused by all of it and is tormented by the things he just cannot seem to grasp. For Jack, Christmas is not just an adventure to embark upon, but a puzzle to be solved. He takes what he learns and seeks to not only adapt it for his own enjoyment, but to improve it.

Tertiary Extroverted Feeling [Fe]: Although he’s tired of Halloween, Jack puts on a good face for the people of Halloween Town. He acts engaged and pretends that he’s happy in front of a crowd, but when he’s on his own, he’s clearly very dissatisfied with Halloween Town, as well as his role within it. Jack wants everyone to enjoy Christmas as much as he does, even though everybody else seemed perfectly content to continue their Halloween traditions. He wants to share it with others! Everyone in Christmas Town was smiling and happy, so if he brings it to Halloween Town, they will all be happy, too! Jack is able to see potential in other people and knows exactly who to recruit to get each specific job done to make his Christmas dreams a reality. While he is encouraging and affirming, he can also be a bit neglectful of their feelings because he is so wrapped up in his own vision. When Sally expresses her fears and doubts, he simply writes them off and doesn’t listen to her concerns. When Jack sends Lock, Shock, and Barrel to retrieve Santa, he instructs them to treat him nicely.

Inferior Introverted Sensing [Si]: The monotony of life in Halloween Town is difficult for Jack to cope with because he’s sick of the routine. It’s depressing doing the same thing every single year! He wants something new, which is what causes his infatuation with Christmas. However, he doesn’t bother to learn the details. His entire concept of Christmas comes from a brief encounter, which he tries to recreate with very little information, causing him to get a lot of things wrong. He doesn’t really understand the traditions of Christmas. He doesn’t even have Santa’s name right, referring to him as “Sandy Claws.” He only has a superficial understanding of what Christmas is, and tries to take it over with very little concrete knowledge. When Jack is trying to figure out a way to explain Christmas Town to his community, he pulls out a book called The Scientific Method to assist him. He obsessively researches the holiday by reading Christmas books and learning the songs, but still has trouble gaining a complete understanding. Instead of handing out gifts that children will enjoy, he gives them presents and decorations that frighten them.

Enneagram: 5w4


Jack Skellington: Yet year after year, it’s the same routine
And I grow so weary of the sound of screams
And I, Jack, the Pumpkin King
Have grown so tired of the same old thing
Oh, somewhere deep inside of these bones
An emptiness began to grow
There’s something out there, far from my home
A longing that I’ve never known

Jack Skellington: What’s this? What’s this?
There’s color everywhere
What’s this?
There’s white things in the air
What’s this?
I can’t believe my eyes
I must be dreaming
Wake up, Jack, this isn’t fair
What’s this?
What’s this? What’s this?
There’s something very wrong
What’s this?
There are people singing songs
What’s this?
The streets are lined with
Little creatures laughing
Everybody seems so happy
Have I possibly gone daffy?

Jack Skellington: Oh, I can’t believe my eyes
And in my bones I feel the warmth
That’s coming from inside
Oh, look
What’s this?
They’re hanging mistletoe, they kiss
Why that looks so unique, inspired

Jack Skellington: In here they’ve got a little tree, how queer
And who would ever think
And why?
They’re covering it with tiny little things
They’ve got electric lights on strings
And there’s a smile on everyone
So, now, correct me if I’m wrong
This looks like fun
This looks like fun
Oh, could it be I got my wish?

Jack Skellington: They’re everywhere and all around
I’ve never felt so good before
This empty place inside of me is filling up
I simply cannot get enough
I want it, oh, I want it
Oh, I want it for my own
I’ve got to know
I’ve got to know
What is this place that I have found?
What is this?
Christmas Town, hmm

Jack Skellington: Listen, there were objects so peculiar
They were not to be believed
All around, things to tantalize my brain
It’s a world unlike anything I’ve ever seen
And as hard as I try
I can’t seem to describe
Like a most improbable dream

Jack Skellington: And the best, I must confess, I have saved for the last
For the ruler of this Christmas land
Is a fearsome king with a deep mighty voice
Least that’s what I’ve come to understand

Jack Skellington: Well, at least they’re excited
Though they don’t understand
That special kind of feeling in Christmas land
Oh, well…

Jack Skellington: There’s got to be a logical way to explain this Christmas thing.

Jack Skellington: Christmas time is buzzing in my skull
Will it let me be? I cannot tell
There are so many things I cannot grasp
When I think I’ve got it, and then at last
Through my bony fingers it does slip
Like a snowflake in a fiery grip
Something’s here I’m not quite getting
Though I try, I keep forgetting
Like a memory long since past
Here in an instant, gone in a flash
What does it mean?
What does it mean?
In these little bric-a-brac
A secret’s waiting to be cracked
These dolls and toys confuse me so
Confound it all, I love it though
Simple objects, nothing more
But something’s hidden through a door
Though I do not have the key
Something’s there I cannot see
What does it mean?
What does it mean?
What does it mean?
I’ve read these Christmas books so many times
I know the stories and I know the rhymes
I know the Christmas carols all by heart
My skull’s so full, it’s tearing me apart
As often as I’ve read them, something’s wrong
So hard to put my bony finger on
Or perhaps it’s really not as deep
As I’ve been led to think
Am I trying much too hard?
Of course! I’ve been too close to see
The answer’s right in front of me
Right in front of me

Jack Skellington: I bet I could improve it too
And that’s exactly what I’ll do

Jack Skellington: Be careful with Sandy Claws when you fetch him. Treat him nicely!

Jack Skellington: But I never intended all this madness, never
And nobody really understood, how could they?
That all I ever wanted was to bring them something great
Why does nothing ever turn out like it should?

Bill Potts (Doctor Who): ENTP

Dominant Extroverted Intuition [Ne]: All of Bill’s ideas come from things she’s already seen or heard. She suggests that Heather might be possessed, because she saw something on Netflix about lizards in people’s brains. The unknown is exciting for her and she’s stimulated by all of the possibilities. Bill has a miraculously adventurous mind and is thrilled by traveling with the Doctor. She’s intuitive and enjoys theorizing about things. She comes to the conclusion that the Doctor enjoys having the TARDIS disguised as a police telephone box. “Advice and Assistance Obtainable Immediately. You like that.” He is the helpline. Though she barely knows him, she deduces that he doesn’t just “pass by” because he couldn’t even pass her and let her carry on her mundane chip-serving existence. Bill is keenly aware that everything she does in the present has an impact on her future. Bill is constantly rambling on about things. When the Doctor asks her a question, she answers by telling a completely unrelated story that she expects will have a point eventually, but it doesn’t. She’s talkative, energetic, and enjoys speculation. When she tries to decide what’s going on, she displays a tendency to come up with imaginative, fantastical explanations. Does the Doctor have “magical alien powers”? She wants her life to have excitement and is crushed when she realizes the Doctor wants to take away the memory of the most exhilarating experience of her life.

Auxiliary Introverted Thinking [Ti]: Bill is deeply inquisitive and asks questions constantly. She genuinely wants to understand how things work. She calls out logical inconsistencies like it’s her job. If you’re from a different planet, why is the TARDIS named in English? Did it come in a kit? Because it’s too big to get into this room like that. Hey, you said you had to bring it in with a crane, so how did you get a rug underneath it? If it’s supposed to be hidden, why is “pull to enter” written on it? Woah, we’re on another planet? What’s the sky made of? Why don’t you just call the police? Is there a space version of Scotland? If you don’t want anyone getting curious, why would you park the TARDIS in the middle of a university? That doesn’t seem sensible! Why do you have two hearts? Does having two hearts mean you have high blood pressure? What do you mean nothing gets through those doors? They’re made of wood and they have windows! Does nobody notice the TARDIS? Does traveling through time have any side effects? How is that a screwdriver? And how is it sonic? Where should I sit? Where’s the steering wheel? And why are the seats so far away from the console? That’s impractical! Bill naturally sees ways of improving things and brings them to the Doctor’s attention. The Doctor’s initial interest in Bill stems from the fact that she smiles when she doesn’t understand something, while ordinary people typically frown.

Tertiary Extroverted Feeling [Fe]: When asked whether she wants to go to the past or the future, she wants to see the future because she wants to know if it’s a happy place. When the Doctor tries to wipe Bill’s memory, she tries to make an emotional appeal to him, hoping that he will empathize with her. How would you feel if somebody just took the most exciting event of your entire life from you? She has a difficult time digesting the Doctor’s nonchalant demeanor in the face of death. She doesn’t understand how he can just “move on” from it, and tends to process her feelings by asking questions. You’ve seen people die before, but do you still care? How many have you seen die? If you care so much, how many? How quickly do you move on? Have you ever killed? She tells him that she’s wondered about this because of a look she notices in his eye. The Doctor tells Bill to leave the talking to him because she has a temper. Bill is open about her feelings and has no qualms talking to the Doctor about her love life or speaking up when she has moral concerns. After Bill asks the Doctor if he has magical alien powers, she wonders if asking that question was impolite. When the Doctor tells her that the man in the suit is dead, she wants to turn it off because he’s “just standing there” like that. “It’s sick. It’s disrespectful.” When she meets someone with blue skin and yellow eyes, she’s fearful at first, but then insists that she’s not racist, and tries to relate by saying that she’s usually on the receiving end of prejudice.

Inferior Introverted Sensing [Si]: Although Bill was just a baby when her mother passed away, she has constructed an entire relationship with her. She talks to her and even makes things up that she might say. Bill uses her vast knowledge of science fiction in order to make assumptions about what’s happening in the present. She knows that the Doctor is going to wipe her mind because she’s seen it in movies and knows what it looks like. Bill frequently makes comparisons between what she’s currently experiencing and things she’s already experienced. This is just like the Student Union in the morning before everyone else arrives. Oh, and that plant is the same one that grows outside the Union! She’s excited that she can smell home from twenty light years away. She’s excited when she gets to board a “proper” spaceship, because the TARDIS isn’t the kind of spaceship she’s accustomed to seeing on film. She marvels about how the Doctor can just blow something up. If you do that, you’re supposed to get in trouble! That’s how it works. Bill notes that Regency England is a “bit more black than they show in the movies.” She wants to know what the “rules” of time travel are because she has a prior understanding of the butterfly effect and is worried about messing up the future. Although she gets a thrill out of traveling with the Doctor, she wants to maintain her normal life and keep him separate from it.

Enneagram: 7w6 9w1 2w3 Sx/So


The Doctor: I’ve seen you.
Bill: Love your lectures. They’re totally awesome.
The Doctor: Why’d you come to my lectures when you’re not a student?
Bill: Okay, so my first day here, in the canteen, I was on chips. There was this girl. Student. Beautiful. Like a model, only with talking and thinking. She looked at you and you perved. Every time, automatic, like physics. Eye contact, perversion. So I gave her extra chips. Every time, extra chips. Like a reward for all the perversion. Every day, got myself on chips, rewarded her. Then finally, finally, she looked at me, like she’d noticed, actually noticed, all the extra chips. Do you know what I realised? She was fat. I’d fatted her. But that’s life, innit? Beauty or chips. I like chips.
So did she. So that’s okay.
The Doctor: And how does that in any way explain why you keep coming to my lectures?
Bill: Yeah, it doesn’t really, does it? I was hoping something would develop. What’s that? A police telephone box?
The Doctor: Yeah.
Bill: Did you build it from a kit?
The Doctor: No, it came like that.
Bill: Then how did you get it in here? The door’s too small and so are the windows.
The Doctor: I had the window and a part of the wall taken out and it was lifted in.
Bill: What, with a crane?
The Doctor: Yeah, with a crane. It’s heavier than it looks. Why do you keep coming to my lectures?
Bill: Because I like them. Everybody likes them. They’re amazing. Why me?
The Doctor: Why you what?
Bill: Well, plenty of people come to your lectures that aren’t supposed to. Why pick on me?
The Doctor: Well, I noticed you.
Bill: Yeah, but why?
The Doctor: Well, most people when don’t understand something, they frown. You smile.
Bill: I’ll tell you what I don’t understand. You’ve been lecturing here for a long time. Like, fifty years, some people say. Nabeela in the office says over seventy.
The Doctor: Yeah, and you’re thinking, ‘Well, he doesn’t look old enough’.
Bill: No. I’m wondering what you’re supposed to be lecturing on. It’s like the university let you do whatever you like. One time, you were going to give a lecture on quantum physics. You talked about poetry.
The Doctor: Poetry, physics, same thing.
Bill: How is it the same?

Bill: Going anywhere for Christmas?
The Doctor: I never go anywhere.
Bill: That’s not true. You go places, I can tell. My mum always said, ‘With some people you can smell the wind in their clothes.’
The Doctor: Oh. She sounds nice.
Bill: She died when I was a baby.
The Doctor: Oh.
Bill: Yeah.
The Doctor: If she died when you were a baby, when did she say that?
Bill: In my head. I’m supposed to look like her, but I don’t really know. There’s hardly any photographs. She hated having her picture taken. But if someone’s gone, do pictures really help?

Bill: Happy new term!
The Doctor: With you in a moment.
[Bill sees that the Tardis is partly sitting on her gift rug.]
Bill: You said you needed a crane to lift your box.
The Doctor: Sorry, what did you say?

Bill: Maybe it’s got to do with that thing in her eye.
The Doctor: How?
Bill: Maybe she’s like, affected by something.
The Doctor: By what?
Bill: I don’t know. Look, I know you know lots of stuff about, well, basically everything, but do you know any sci-fi?
The Doctor: Go on.
Bill: Well, what if she’s possessed. Something like that.
The Doctor: Possessed by what?
Bill: I don’t know. I saw this thing on Netflix. Lizards in people’s brains.
The Doctor: Right. So, you meet a girl with a discoloured iris and your first thought is she might have a lizard in her brain? I can see I’m going to have to up my game. Oh.
Bill: What?
The Doctor: Oh!
Bill: What is it, what?
The Doctor: Oh, I get it. I see it. It was easy for your friend because of her eye.
Bill: What, because it gives her special powers?

Bill: How do we stop it getting in? We’re trapped in here!
The Doctor: Nothing gets through these doors.
Bill: But they’re made of wood. They’ve got windows!Look, this is all mad, I know, but that’s the girl I told you about. Heather. Only I don’t think it’s really her. I know this is hard to believe. I know you’re not exactly a sci-fi person- [turns around]
The Doctor: Time And Relative Dimension In Space. TARDIS for short. You’re safe in here. You’re safe in here and you always will be. Any questions?
Bill: Is this a knock-through?
The Doctor: Well, in a way, yes.
Bill: Look at this place. It’s like a
The Doctor: Spaceship.
Bill: Kitchen.
The Doctor: A what?
Bill: A really posh kitchen, all metal. What happened with the doors, though? Did you run out of money?
The Doctor: What you are standing in is a technological marvel. It is science beyond magic. This is the gateway to everything that ever was, or ever can be.
Bill: Can I use the toilet?
The Doctor: Pardon?
Bill: I’ve had a fright. I need the toilet.

Bill: So your box can move? It can go anywhere it likes?
Nardole: Mmm. Good, innit?
Bill: Anywhere at all, in the whole university?
The Doctor: Is it my imagination, or is this taking longer than normal?
Bill: Hang on. The room’s still inside the box. This isn’t a knock-through.
The Doctor: No.
Bill: Doctor! It’s bigger on the inside than it is on the outside!
Nardole: Way-hey! We got there!
Bill: How is that possible? How do you do that?

The Doctor: Can we shut up, please? Busy, busy. I need to know if there’s any interest in what’s inside this vault.
Bill: Why, what’s inside it?
The Doctor: Something I don’t want anyone being too curious about.
Bill: So you put it in the middle of a university?
Nardole: Ooo, valid point. Yeah, nice.
The Doctor: Either the creature came here specifically for what’s in here, or it’s just a coincidence.
Bill: It’s just a coincidence.
The Doctor: Well, we can’t know that for sure.
Bill: Yeah, we can. It was here for ages before it did anything. If it had work to do, why would it lie around in a puddle?

Bill: TARDIS. If you’re from another planet, why would you name your box in English? Those initials wouldn’t work in any other language!
The Doctor: People don’t generally bring that up.
Bill: It looks like a phone box.
The Doctor: Yes. Er, well, that’s the cloaking device. It sort of hides itself.
Bill: It’s hidden itself as a box with ‘pull to enter’ on the front?
The Doctor: Uh-huh. It’s stuck. It’s supposed to blend in, but it’s, it’s broken.

Bill: So this is somewhere else? This is a different planet? Not Earth, a different one?
The Doctor: That’s the general idea.
Bill: That’s different sky? Is it made of something different? What is sky made of?
The Doctor: Lemon drops.
Bill: Really?
The Doctor: No, but wouldn’t that be nice?

Bill: What’s up?
The Doctor: I just want to fix something.
[He reaches for her head.]
Bill: Whoa! What are you doing?
The Doctor: Don’t worry. This won’t hurt at all.
Bill: No, but tell me.
The Doctor: Nothing.
Bill: Yeah, because I think you’re going to wipe my memory. I’m not stupid, you know. That’s the trouble with you. You don’t think anyone’s ever seen a movie. I know what a mind-wipe looks like!
The Doctor: I have no choice. I’m here for a reason. I am in disguise. I have promises to keep. No one can know about me.
Bill: This is the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to me in my life. The only exciting thing!
The Doctor: I’m sorry.
Bill: Okay, let me remember just for a week. Just a week. Okay, well, just for tonight. Just one night. Come on, let me have some good dreams for once. Okay. Do what you’ve got to do. But imagine, just imagine how it would feel if someone did this to you. [Bill braces herself with her eyes closed, then he taps her on the chin.]
The Doctor: Get out.
Bill: What?
The Doctor: You can keep your memories. Now get out before I change my mind! Don’t speak, don’t start, just run! Now. Go!

Bill: What do we do? Do I have to sit somewhere? Are there seat belts?
The Doctor: Well, you’ve done this before. This isn’t your first trip.
Bill: Yeah, but it’s proper this time. [finds a chair] Oh, that’s a mistake.
The Doctor: What is?
Bill: You can’t reach the controls from the seats. What’s the point in that? Or do you have stretchy arms, like Mister Fantastic?
The Doctor: Oh, I stand, like this.
Bill: You never thought of bringing the seats a bit closer?
The Doctor: No, not so far, no.
Bill: Where’s the steering wheel?
The Doctor: Well, you don’t steer the Tardis, you negotiate with it. The still point between where you want to go and where you need to be, that’s where she takes you.
Bill: How much did it cost?
The Doctor: Ah. No idea. Stole it.

The Doctor: Between here and my office, before the kettle boils, is everything that ever happened or ever will. Make your choice.
Bill: What choice?
The Doctor: Past or future.
Bill: Future.
The Doctor: Why?
Bill: Why do you think? I want to see if it’s happy.

Bill: These are robots? These are disappointing robots.
The Doctor: That’s a very offensive remark. Don’t make personal remarks like that.
Bill: Er, you can’t offend a machine.
The Doctor: Typical wet brain chauvinism.

Bill: Sorry? Two hearts?
The Doctor: You send a rocketload of intelligent robots up ahead of you. They build you a place to live, so that, when you arrive, it’s all waiting. This is brilliant!
Bill: You, you, you’ve got two hearts?
The Doctor: Robots, they don’t breathe. They can fix the atmosphere for you, send data back, so you know whether to bring your waterproofs or not. Work in huge robot flocks. You just send them up ahead and you leave them to it.
Bill: Yeah. Hearts, though. Why two?
The Doctor: Well, why one?
Bill: Does that mean you’ve got really high blood pressure?

Bill: Oh, this plant! There’s one of these growing outside the Student Union. It smells amazing.
The Doctor: Rosemary.
Bill: I’m smelling home twenty light years from home. Thanks for bringing me. This is a great day out. I mean, come on, admit it. You love it.

Bill: Why are you Scottish?
The Doctor: I’m not Scottish, I’m just cross.
Bill: Is there a Scotland in space?
The Doctor: They’re all over the place, demanding independence from every planet that they land on. Why are you here?
Bill: Because I figured out why you keep your box as a phone box.
The Doctor: I told you, it’s stuck.
Bill: Advice and Assistance Obtainable Immediately. You like that.
The Doctor: No, I don’t.
Bill: See, this is the point. You don’t call the helpline because you are the helpline.
The Doctor: Don’t sentimentalise me. I don’t just fly around helping people out.
Bill: What are you doing right now?
The Doctor: I happened to be passing by, so I’m mucking in.
Bill: You’ve never passed by in your life. You couldn’t even leave me serving chips, so I’m not going to leave you.

Bill: Wait, you want to go out there?
The Doctor: You don’t?
Bill: It’s 1814. [Bill points to her face.]
Bill: Melanin.
The Doctor: Yes?
Bill: Slavery is still totally a thing.
The Doctor: Yes, so it is.
Bill: It might be, like, dangerous out there.

Bill: Doesn’t anyone notice the Tardis?
The Doctor: Your species hardly notices anything.
Bill: So, what are the rules?
The Doctor: Rules?
Bill: Yeah. Travelling to the past, There’s got to be rules. If I step on a butterfly, it could send ripples through time that mean I’m not even born in the first place and I could just disappear.
The Doctor: Definitely. I mean, that’s what happened to Pete.
Bill: Pete?
The Doctor: Your friend, Pete. He was standing there a moment ago, but he stepped on a butterfly and now you don’t even remember him.
Bill: Shut up! I’m being serious!
The Doctor: Yeah, so was Pete.
Bill: You know what I mean. Every choice I make in this moment, here and now, could change the whole future.
The Doctor: Exactly like every other day of your life. The only thing to do is to stop worrying about it.
Bill: Hmm. Okay. If you say so.
The Doctor: Pete’s stopped worrying.

Bill: Regency England. Bit more black than they show in the movies.
The Doctor: So was Jesus. History’s a whitewash.

Bill: Are there side-effects to time travel? Like, physical symptoms?

Bill: Does it matter? The boy’s the one with your magic wand.
The Doctor: Sonic screwdriver.
Bill: How is that a screwdriver?
The Doctor: In a very broad sense.
Bill: All right, how’s it sonic?
The Doctor: It makes a noise.

The Doctor: What’s wrong?
Bill: What’s wrong? Seriously, what’s wrong? I’ve never seen anyone die before.
The Doctor: A few hours ago, we were standing in a garden full of dead people.
Bill: That was different.
The Doctor: How?
Bill: They were dead already.
The Doctor: Morally and practically, that is not a useful distinction. Unlearn it.
Bill: Don’t tell me what to think.
The Doctor: I’m your teacher. Telling you things is what I do.
Bill: Yeah? Tell me this. You’ve seen people die before, yeah?
The Doctor: Of course.
Bill: You still care?
The Doctor: Of course I care.
Bill: How many?
The Doctor: How many what?
Bill: If you care so much, tell me how many people you’ve seen die?
The Doctor: I don’t know.
Bill: Okay. How many before you lost count?
The Doctor: I care, Bill, but I move on.
Bill: Yeah? How quickly?
The Doctor: It’s not me you’re angry with.
Bill: Have you ever killed anyone? There’s a look in your eyes sometimes that makes me wonder. Have you?
The Doctor: There are situations when the options available are limited.
Bill: Not what I asked.
The Doctor: Sometimes the choices are very-
Bill: That’s not what I asked!
The Doctor: Yes.
Bill: How many?
[No reply]
Bill: Don’t tell me. You’ve moved on.

The Doctor: Bill, I need you to leave the talking to me.
Bill: Why?
The Doctor: Because you have a temper.
Bill: Oh okay, well, I lost it a tiny bit.

Bill: You should hire this out, like a removal service.
The Doctor: Removals? Bill, I’m a Time Lord.
Bill: Time Lord? What’s that, your job?
The Doctor: No. It’s, er, my people, my species.
Bill: Doesn’t sound like a species. Sounds posh, like, yes, my lord. Doff my cap.
The Doctor: Oh, well, that’s why I gave it up. Ran away.
Bill: Time Lords. That’s hilarious. Do you wear robes and big hats?

Bill: That tower. It was at the back of the building. Logically, the door should be at the end of this corridor. Look for a way in!
[They run to the bookcase at the end of the corridor and pull at the books.]
Bill: Indiana Jones, come on!
[Bill finds the book that opens the secret door and reveals a flight of stairs.]

Bill: Why not? What have you got up your sleeve? Oh, my God! Have you been holding out on me? Do you have, like, magical, alien powers?
[He huffs on the diving helmet and polishes the faceplate.]
Bill: What, was that an impolite question?

Bill: Why aren’t we floating?
The Doctor: Artificial gravity.
[Bill does a couple of test jumps.]
Bill: Doesn’t feel like space.
[She looks out of a porthole, and grins.]
Bill: Aw! Now it feels like space!

Bill: Yeah, can you turn it off?
Nardole: Turn what off?
Bill: The suit. Just, please, just, just turn it off.
The Doctor: Why?
Bill: He’s just standing there. It’s sick. It’s disrespectful.
Bill: Well, look, can we just, like, lie him down or something? I mean, this isn’t right.

[The person who let them in takes Bill’s arms. His blue skin and yellow eyes startle her.]
Bill: Wha! Sorry, I wasn’t expecting. Hello.
Dahh-ren: Great. We rescued a racist.
Bill: What? Excuse me?
Tasker: And you are?
The Doctor: We got your distress call.
Bill: Sorry. It’s just I haven’t seen many, well, any of your people.
Dahh-ren: It shows.

Bill: Look, for the record, I’m not prejudiced. I’m usually on the receiving end.
Dahh-ren: Oh? Why?
Bill: What, you really don’t know?

Bill: What happens if I throw up in my helmet?
Nardole: Colour and smells.
Bill: Don’t throw up in helmet then. Check.

Eleventh Doctor (Doctor Who): ENTP

Dominant Extroverted Intuition [Ne]: The Doctor is always full of ideas. He thrives on possibilities and is excited by the unknown. He enjoys novelty and that which is different. He enjoys exploring and theorizing, and can quickly come up with a hypothesis about anything. The Doctor is always aware of the big picture. He often has a thought, which leads him to another, and another. His mind moves at a frenetic pace and it can be nearly impossible for people who aren’t him to keep up. He connects random, seemingly unrelated things until he comes up with what he considers to be the best theory. He’s a creative thinker with an incredibly active imagination. The Doctor has a limitless amount of energy and enthusiasm and can sometimes be nearly impossible to understand because his mouth moves as quickly as his brain does. The Doctor is good at reading between the lines and getting a sense of what’s really happening.

Auxiliary Introverted Thinking [Ti]: When there is a problem, the Doctor is skilled at reaching what he considers to be the most logical, probable explanation (though, he usually prefers to think about whatever option is the most mentally stimulating). He’s good at reworking his theories in the moment as new information is introduced and is perfectly fine with dropping former theories and forgetting everything that he previously considered to be true when need be. The Doctor is good at fixing things and improving them for maximum efficiency. When he’s working, he typically maintains a detached demeanor and is able to set aside emotion to do what he feels needs to be done. He has a highly scientific, inquisitive mind and is interested in puzzles. He becomes obsessed with figuring out who or what Clara is because she’s “impossible.” He needs to understand and won’t stop until he knows why things are the way they are or how something works. The Doctor does what is more sensible to him, which can lead to him ignoring directions or throwing them away because he doesn’t agree with them.

Tertiary Extroverted Feeling [Fe]: Although the Doctor is rational, he does have deep feelings. He cares about people and typically want to help on large scales (saving entire civilizations). Though he can be detached when trying to figure something out, when he does tune into people’s emotional states, he’s often quite adept at understanding what they’re feeling. He likes having people around to admire him and be amazed at his brilliance. ” I am being extremely clever up here and there’s no one to stand around looking impressed!” He needs to have people around. When he sets Amy and Rory free, he forms a “gang” of companions to keep him company. He doesn’t like to be alone and, unlike his predecessor, he usually cannot travel by himself for very long (except for the period of time after he loses Amy and Rory). He often seeks affirmation, particularly in his style choices (his bow tie, his fez, his stetson). When he wants to, the Doctor can be very good at building people up and making them feel special.

Inferior Introverted Sensing [Si]: One of the reasons that the Doctor has such a hard time letting go of Amy is because hers was “the first face this face saw.” When the voice interface takes the form of Rose, Martha, and Donna, he doesn’t want to see them because of the guilt he feels. Even though the Time War was a very long time ago, he carries the scars of it with him. He has a hard time facing his past and prefers to keep moving forward. It’s difficult for him to open up about his past because of how painful it is for him to think about. Although the Doctor is open to change, he can sometimes judge what is currently happening based on his past experiences. The Doctor isn’t always very good with details and can sometimes forget about them or ignore them.

Enneagram: 7w6 Sx/So


The Doctor: I’m not running away. But this is one corner of one country on one continent on one planet that’s a corner of a galaxy that’s a corner of a universe that is forever growing and shrinking and creating and destroying and never remaining the same for a single millisecond, and there is so much, so much, to see, Amy. Because it goes so fast. I’m not running away from things, I am running to them. Before they flare and fade forever. And it’s alright. Our lives won’t run the same. They can’t. One day, soon, maybe, you’ll stop. I’ve known for a while.
Amy: Then why do you keep coming back for us?
The Doctor: Because you were the first. The first face this face saw. And you’re seared onto my hearts, Amelia Pond. You always will be. I’m running to you and Rory before you fade from me.

The Doctor: There are fixed points throughout time where things must stay exactly the way they are. This is not one of them. This is an opportunity! Whatever happens here will create its own timeline, its own reality, a temporal tipping point. The future revolves around you, here, now, so do good!

Amy: Please tell me you have a plan.
The Doctor: No, I have a thing. It’s like a plan, but with more greatness.

Tony: You’re not making sense, man!
The Doctor: Excuse me, I’m making perfect sense. You’re just not keeping up.

The Doctor: Oh, this is bad! I don’t like this! [kicks console and yells in pain] NEVER use force, you’ll just embarrass yourself. Unless you’re cross, in which case… always use force!
Amy: Shall I run and get the manual?
The Doctor: I threw it in a supernova.
Amy: You threw the manual in a supernova? Why?
The Doctor: BECAUSE I DISAGREED WITH IT! Now stop talking to me when I’m cross!

Amy: What if the gravity fails?
The Doctor: I’ve thought about that.
Amy: And?
The Doctor: We’ll all plunge to our deaths. See? I’ve thought about it! [examines the door] Ah, the security protocols are still live. There’s no way to override them; it’s impossible!
River: How impossible?
The Doctor: Two minutes.

The Doctor: Ooh. Now, what’s this then? I love this. A big flashy lighty thing. That’s what brought me here. Big flashy lighty things have got me written all over them. Not actually, but give me time, and a crayon. Now, this big flashy lighty thing is connected to the spire in your dome, yeah? And it controls the sky. Well, technically it controls the clouds, which technically aren’t clouds at all. Well, they’re clouds of tiny particles of ice. Ice clouds. Love that. Who’s she?
Sardick: Nobody important.
The Doctor: Nobody important. Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space, I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before. Now, this console is the key to saving that ship, or I’ll eat my hat. If I had a hat. I’ll eat someone’s hat. Not someone who’s using their hat. I don’t want to shock a nun, or something. Sorry, rambling, because, because this isn’t working!

The Doctor: There’s a portrait on the wall behind me. Looks like you, but it’s too old, so it’s your father. All the chairs are angled away from it. Daddy’s been dead for twenty years, but you still can’t get comfortable where he can see you. There’s a Christmas tree in the painting, but none in this house, on Christmas Eve. You’re scared of him, and you’re scared of being like him, and good for you, you’re not like him, not really. Do you know why?
Sardick: Why?
The Doctor: Because you didn’t hit the boy. Merry Christmas, Mister Sardick.

The Doctor: The universe is big, it’s vast and complicated, and ridiculous. And sometimes, very rarely, impossible things just happen and we call them miracles. And that’s the theory. Nine hundred years, never seen one yet, but this would do me.

Idris: Bond the tube directly into the Tachyon Diverter…
The Doctor: Yes, yes; I have actually rebuilt a TARDIS before, you know. I know what I’m doing!
Idris: You’re like a nine-year-old trying to rebuild a motorbike in his bedroom. And you never read the instructions.
The Doctor: I always read the instructions!
Idris: There’s a sign on my front door. You have been walking past it for seven hundred years. What does it say?
The Doctor: That’s not instructions!
Idris: There’s an instruction at the bottom. What does it say?
The Doctor: “Pull to open”.
Idris: Yes, and what do you do?
The Doctor: I push!
Idris: Every single time, seven hundred years. Police box doors open out the way.

Avery: There’s nothing wrong with the boy. He has no scars.
The Doctor: Yep. Ignore my last theory.
Amy: He has his good days and his bad days.

Avery: No water in here. How did she take him? You said she uses water like a door, that’s how she enters a room.
[Avery picks up the crown.]
The Doctor: I was wrong. Please ignore all my theories up to this point.
Avery: What, again?
The Doctor: We’re all in danger. The water’s not how she’s getting in. When we were down in the hold, think what happened. You, me, Amy, Rory, leeches.
Avery: She sprang from the water.
The Doctor: Yes, only when it grew still. Still water. Nature’s mirror.
Avery: So, you mean
The Doctor: Yes. Not water, reflection.

[Avery shoots, and the Siren turns red. She advances on Avery, then the Doctor sneezes. The Siren heads for him instead.]
The Doctor: Fire. That’s new. What does fire do? Burn? Yes. Destroy? What else? Sterilise! I sneezed. I’ve brought germs in.
(The Doctor blows his nose and throws the handkerchief on the floor. The Siren blasts the offending article. Amy runs to Rory.)
The Doctor: Amy, stop. Don’t interfere. Don’t touch him. Anaesthetic, tissue sample, screen, sterile working conditions. Ignore all my previous theories!
Amy: Yeah? Well, we stopped paying attention a while back.
The Doctor: She’s not a killer at all, she’s a doctor!
(Amy stops fiddling with Rory’s life support and the Siren returns to green.)
The Doctor: This is an automated sick bay. It’s teleporting everyone on board. The crew are dead, and so the sick bay has had nothing to do. It’s been looking after humanity whilst it’s been idle. Look at her. A virtual doctor able to sterilise a whole room.
Amy: Able to burn your face off.
The Doctor: She’s just an interface, seeped through the join between the planes, broadcast in our world. Protean circuitry means she can change her form, and become a human doctor for humans. Oh, sister, you are good.

The Doctor: Well, that’s good. Fantastic, that is. Twenty minutes to save the world and I’ve got a post office. And it’s shut. What is that?
Amy: It’s a duck pond.
The Doctor: Why aren’t there any ducks?
Amy: I don’t know. There’s never any ducks.
The Doctor: Then how do you know it’s a duck pond?
Amy: It just is. Is it important, the duck pond?
[The Doctor clutches his chest.]
The Doctor: I don’t know. Why would I know? This is too soon. I’m not ready, I’m not done yet.

Amy: How’s my side, Brian?
Brian: Perfect, as ever, Amy.
Amy: Thank you, Brian.
Brian: I don’t know what he said to you to make you marry him, but he’s a lucky man.
[The sound of an arriving Tardis, and papers blowing.]
Rory: (sotto) Not here, not now.
Brian: You leave the back door open?
Rory: What is he doing?
Amy: I’m going to kill him.
[The Tardis materialises around them.]
The Doctor: Hello! You weren’t busy, were you? Well, even if you were, it wasn’t as interesting as this probably is. Didn’t want you to miss it. Now, just a quick hop.
[The Tardis zooms to the impossibly large spaceship. Brian is still standing on the stepladder.]
The Doctor: Everybody grab a torch.
[Brian drops the light bulb.]
The Doctor: Spiders. Don’t normally get spiders in space.
[Brian is last out of the Tardis.]
Brian: What the?
The Doctor: Don’t move! Do you really think I’m that stupid I wouldn’t notice? How did you get aboard, eh? Transmat? Who sent you?
Rory: Doctor. That’s my dad.
The Doctor: Well frankly, that’s outrageous.
Rory: What?
The Doctor: You think you can just bring your dad along without asking? I’m not a taxi service, you know.
Rory: You materialised around us.
The Doctor: Oh. Well, that’s fine, then. My mistake. Hello, Brian. How are you? Nice to meet you. Welcome, welcome. This is the gang. I’ve got a gang. Yes. Come on then, everyone.

The Doctor: Decision: Should we open the cupboard?
Alex: Wha-?
The Doctor: Should we? Well, gotta open the cupboard, haven’t we? Of course we have. Come on, Alex. Alex, come on. How else will we ever find out what’s going on here?
Alex: Right. But you said—
The Doctor: Monsters, yeah. Well that’s what I do. Breakfast, dinner, and tea. Fight the monsters! So this, this is just an average day at the office for me.
Alex: Okay, yeah. You’re right.
The Doctor: Or maybe we shouldn’t open the cupboard.
Alex: Eh?
The Doctor: We have no idea what might be in there. How powerful, how evil that thing might be.
Alex: We don’t?
The Doctor: Come on, Alex! Alex, come on! Are you crazy? We can’t open the cupboard!
Alex: God no! No, we mustn’t!
The Doctor: Right. That settles it.
Alex: Settles what?
The Doctor: We’re gonna open the cupboard.

The Doctor: I can’t save you from this. There’s nothing I can do to stop this. I stole your childhood and now I’ve lead you by the hand to your death. But the worst thing is, I knew. I knew this would happen. This is what always happens. Forget your faith in me. I took you with me because I was vain. Because I wanted to be adored. Look at you. Glorious Pond. The girl who waited for me. I’m not a hero. I really am just a mad man in a box. And it’s time we saw each other as we really are. Amy Williams, it’s time to stop waiting.

The Doctor: Been knocking about. Bit of a farewell tour. Things to do, people to see. There’s always more. I could invent a new colour, save the Dodo, join the Beatles. [On the phone] Hello, it’s me! Get him, tell him we’re going out and it’s all on me except for the money and the driving! [To Dorium, boasting angrily] I’ve got a time machine, Dorium! It’s all still going on! For me, it never stops! Liz the First is still waiting in a glade to elope with me! I could help Rose Tyler with her homework! I could go on all Jack’s stag parties in one night!

Lily: What’s happening?
The Doctor: No idea. Just do what I do: hold tight and pretend it’s a plan.

The Doctor: I know. So, your aunt, where is she?
Amelia: She’s out.
The Doctor: And she left you all alone?
Amelia: I’m not scared.
The Doctor: Course, you’re not. You’re not scared of anything. Box falls out of the sky, man falls out of a box, man eats fish custard, and look at you, just sitting there. So you know what I think?
Amelia: What?
The Doctor: Must be a hell of a scary crack in your wall.

Emma: Doctor, will it hurt?
The Doctor: No. Well, yes, probably. A bit. Well, quite a lot. I don’t know. It might be agony. To be perfectly honest, I’ll be interested to find out.

Craig: The Cybermen — they blew up! I blew them up with love!
The Doctor: No, that’s impossible — and also grossly sentimental and overly simplistic. You destroyed them because of the deeply ingrained hereditary trait to protect one’s own genes — which in turn triggered a… a… uh… Yeah. Love. You blew them up with love.

[The Doctor tears a page from the book he’s reading]
Amy: Why did you do that?
The Doctor: Oh, I always rip out the last page of a book. Then it doesn’t have to end. I hate endings!

The Doctor: Amelia!
Clara: Who’s Amelia?
The Doctor: The first face this face saw. We all change. When you think about it, we’re all different people all through our lives, and that’s okay, that’s good, you gotta keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be. I will not forget one line of this. Not one day. I swear. I will always remember when the Doctor was me.

Cosima Niehaus (Orphan Black): ENTP

Dominant Extroverted Intuition [Ne]: Cosima leaps from thought to thought, sometimes forgetting that she’s speaking with people who have no clue what she’s talking about (“Sorry, I got off on a tangent there…). She is gifted at generating possible answers to all of the questions that the clones come up with. She realizes that if the clones are part of a study, then they’re probably being observed by somebody close to them. Cosima is extremely adaptive in new situations (“This is the new normal”). Because Cosima is such an out-of-the-box thinker, she takes to the idea of being a clone much quicker and easier than Alison and Sarah do. Cosima remains open to ideas, keeping them all orbiting inside her brain. She can always come up explanations for things and tends to rapidly throw her thoughts at others. She doesn’t usually totally commit to the suggestions she makes, leaving herself open to spawn new proposals.

Auxiliary Introverted Thinking [Ti]: Intellectual challenges excite Cosima. She’s energized by discovery and enjoys solving puzzles. Cosima has a brilliant, analytical mind. She doesn’t mind making adjustments to her logical conclusions as she has new insights or gathers new information, and can easily change her theories and opinions in the moment. Cosima is extremely curious and has a lot of questions that she’s constantly pondering and wants to get answers to. Although she is a creative thinker, she’s also very practical. Sometimes, she looks at their situation with a sense of scientific detachment and, even though their predicament is scary, it’s also thrilling from an academic standpoint. Cosima has a good sense of humor and can be very quick-witted. She and Sarah (who share auxiliary Ti), are both able to “keep a sense of humor” about their situation, whereas Alison takes it all much more seriously than they do.

Tertiary Extroverted Feeling [Fe]: When Alison and Cosima first meet Sarah, Cosima is the one trying to mediate and keep the peace. When she speaks, she knows how to phrase things in a gentle way. She recognizes the importance of being diplomatic and trying to solve problems through discussion. When Sarah tells Cosima that she thinks Paul might be falling for her, Cosima can immediately see the potential (Ne-Fe). “That’s awesome! You can use that!” When Cosima realizes that Paul knows the truth about Sarah, she reminds Sarah that Paul covered for her with his boss and suggests she try communicating with him before doing anything rash. Cosima has an understanding of the importance of using human interaction as a tool (Ti-Fe). “Well, if we’re going to get past our monitors, we have to engage.” She knows how to get people to trust her. For a while after Sarah learns the truth about what she is, she remains reluctant to help. Cosima tends to pose things to her in more of a “we” sense that makes the clones part of a team. She’s good at adjusting her tone, as well as her approach, depending on her audience.

Inferior Introverted Sensing [Si]: As a scientist, Cosima has a great memory for facts and details, which she sometimes relies on to help form her theories. Research is second nature to Cosima and she’s good at recalling what she learns. Cosima doesn’t spend a lot of time discussing the past, nor does she outwardly appear to be traditional or sentimental. She tends to be less methodical and more scattered – particularly noticeable in the way she speaks when presenting information to others. Cosima isn’t a conformist and doesn’t let society dictate her life. However, she is highly responsible and dutiful when it comes to her obligations to Clone Club and is usually very reliable.

Enneagram: Cosima’s a bit of a mystery to me, but I’m leaning towards 5w4 Sx/So. As for her tritype, my best guess would be 549.


Sarah: How are we all related?
Alison:: We’re not!
Cosima: Well, we are, by nature. She’s referring to nurture.
Alison:: Just give us the briefcase that you got from the German.
Sarah: I’m not giving you shit ’til you give me some answers.
Alison:: You don’t rate answers.
Cosima: Alison!
Alison:: [Alison responds agitated sounding] Fine! She wants in? We’re clones. We’re someone’s experiment and they’re killing us off! Is that helpful? Hmm?

[Sarah remains silent after finding out she could be a clone]
Cosima: Sorry. I wanted to float that whole clone thing a lot softer.

[Sarah tells Cosima that Helena wants the names of the other clones]
Sarah: Don’t worry. I won’t give you up.
Cosima: You know, maybe you should. Not to Helena, but to Olivier.
Sarah: What? You were the one who said, if your blind subject suddenly became aware, you’d terminate.
Cosima: Right, well, I’m beginning to rethink that.
Sarah: Great, she’s got a new hypothesis.

Sarah: Olivier called Paul in hours ago, and he’s not picking up.
Cosima: Well, that isn’t out of the ordinary, is it?
Sarah: How should I know? There’s nothing normal about any of this, is there?
Cosima: Sarah, this is the new normal, okay? So, Paul’s a monitor. He reports to Olivier, his handler, right? As long as Paul is on our side, we can start to finally get some answers.
Sarah: That’s my point, Cosima. What if he’s not on our side?

[Sarah tells Cosima to stay away from Delphine]
Cosima: Well, if we’re going to get past our monitors, we have to engage.

Cosima: I think that Oliver guy, he runs Paul. It sounds like some kind of double blind.
Sarah: What are you going on about?
Cosima: They are keeping Paul in the dark too. Right? So that he can’t skew the results either.
Sarah: [Sarah loads her pistol] You mean he may not even know he’s watching a clone?
Cosima: Yes, right. But Olivier definitely knows. Okay? He’s the one that we need to get to.
Sarah: You mind if I get through Paul first?

[Cosima and Sarah discuss the church-related mission of Helena]
Cosima: So, the fish reads Christian and, and crafted onto a weapon? A personal crusade.
Sarah: Great. Is that it?
Cosima: You know, when I’m seeing this branded onto Maggie Chen, I’m thinking that she’s not a lone warrior. To extreme creationist types, we would be abominations. Like, not God’s children, but, but, Satan’s.
Sarah: So they hate us and she’s killing us, even though she’s identical to us?
Cosima: Well, but if you were a messed-up, abused loner whose faith compelled you to belong and somebody that you trusted told you that this was the way to redeem yourself in the eyes of God, I mean…
Sarah: Yeah, I might become an angry angel, too.

[Sarah tells Cosima that Helena thinks her and Sarah have a connection]
Cosima: So, the woman Beth shot and Helena are connected. Holy watershed. Okay, Beth probably shot Maggie Chen on purpose. She never told us anything about this.

Cosima: If she’s not dead, we need to find her, find out what she knows.
Felix: Are you mad? She’s a homicidal maniac.
Cosima: Yeah, but we need to find out who she is, Sarah. She’s… She’s… She found us. She’s got answers.
Sarah: The only way I’m going to do that is go back to being a cop.

Cosima: So Beth used facial-recognition software to find driver’s licenses in North America. Two matches.
Sarah: You and soccer bitch.
Cosima: Yeah, right. But who is the original? Who’s created us? Who’s killing us? We need to know, but, we lost our cop, so, however you manage to get into her shoes, we really need you to stay there.
Sarah: Stay a cop to help you?
Cosima: To help us. Help us find out who’s killing us.

[Cosima tells Sarah that she might have a monitor dilemma]
Cosima: I may have a monitor dilemma of my own. Um, I’m new here this semester. I didn’t bring anybody with me, but, uh, someone wants to be friends.
Sarah: Just stay away from them, Cos. Stick to the science, yeah?
Cosima: ‘Stick to the science?’ What am I, the geek monkey, now?

Sarah: I’m going to shoot Paul’s balls off.
Cosima: Wait, just, um, just squeeze them, ok? He’s our way into this whole thing.

[Sarah sees her and Cosima in the mirror together behind the bar]
Cosima: Don’t worry, you get used to it.
Sarah: To clones? Yeah, I’m not buying that.
Cosima: How many of us do you have to meet, Sarah?

Sarah: Just answer me one thing…
Cosima: Anything, yes.
Sarah: If we’re genetically identical, do you get that little patch of dry skin between your eyebrows?
Cosima: [Cosima laughs] That’s good. Try to keep your sense of humor. Beth couldn’t.

Delphine:: It’s Dr. Leekie. Should we invite him?
Cosima: You’re single now.
Delphine:: Oh, no, no, no. He’s too old.
Cosima: But his mind is sexy.

Cosima: I just want to make, like, crazy science with you.

Cosima: We’re gonna to do an experiment. I want you to try to push your favorite pencil through this paper.
[she holds a piece of paper loosely]
Cosima: OK see if you can do it.
[Kira tries and fails]
Cosima: Oops. How come that didn’t work, I wonder? ‘Cause, you know what? You need more… force. OK?
[ask she explains, several brief cuts to Cosima and Scott building a device in their lab]
Cosima: So force equals mass… times… acceleration. How can we get the pencil through this paper, do you think?
Kira: We need to make it sharper?
Cosima: That’s a really good idea. High five for that. What about trying speed? What about acceleration? Maybe give that a shot?
[Kira pushes the pencil quickly and pierces the paper]
Cosima: Nice one!

Delphine:: Cosima, it’s your life.
Cosima: It’s not just that. It’s all of us. You have to love all of us.
Delphine:: Then I love all of you.
Cosima: Good. Because if you betray us again, I have enough dirt on you to destroy your career. And I love you, too.

Seth Cohen (The O.C.): ENTP

Dominant Extroverted Intuition [Ne]: Seth is always blabbing about hypothetical situations and possibilities, often to the irritation of the more practical, down-to-earth people in his life. He enjoys speculation for the sake of speculation. The thought of going new places and doing new things is exciting to him. Seth enjoys fantasy worlds and loves movies, video games, and comic books. His brain jumps from one idea to the next so rapidly that it can sometimes be draining to other people. He comes up with different scenarios for everything and has a very active imagination. Seth is also quite creative. He develops his own comic book series called Atomic County based on the people in his life, and gives them powers that relate to their individual personalities (Ne-Fe). Seth is always looking to the future. He wants to get out of Newport and have new experiences and surround himself with people who aren’t snobby, self-absorbed “Newpsies.” It can be difficult for Seth to know when to shut up, because he often just speaks before he gives his brain a chance to weigh in. Seth is usually upbeat, enthusiastic, and optimistic, but, at times, he can come up with with all of the worst possible outcomes and talk himself into a panic.

Auxiliary Introverted Thinking [Ti]: One of Seth’s defining characteristics is his sense of humor. He’s “the comic relief.” He has a strong sense of irony and always has a witty comeback handy.
He consistently points out flaws in logic, and frequently corrects other people’s mistakes. Seth relies on his sarcasm to help him deal with the superficial world he lives in. Seth is very intelligent and has a large amount of useless knowledge. He’ll often bring his observations to other people’s attention with a quip. If someone says something idiotic, Seth can’t help but point it out and is unable to let anything slide. If you say something stupid, you will hear about it, even at the most inappropriate times.

Tertiary Extroverted Feeling [Fe]: Ideas and possibilities aren’t the only thing that Seth can’t shut up about. He needs to talk through his feelings, particularly to Ryan. He doesn’t even really need anyone to actually give him any advice in many cases. He just needs to talk and figure things out externally. Because Fe is lower in his functional stack, Seth isn’t as good with other people’s problems. He expects other people to listen to him go on and on about his woes, but when other people talk to him, he tends to redirect the conversation back to his own problems. He has a habit of being self-absorbed and needs to really concentrate to focus his energy on someone else. Seth can sometimes struggle to understand where other people are coming from and can often be insensitive to their feelings. Sometimes, when Seth isn’t so caught up in his own issues, he can be good at reading other people’s emotions. Though Seth can sometimes be selfish, he cares very deeply about the people close to him and can be helpful when he wants to be. At times, he can be sacrificial, such as when Summer got into Brown and he didn’t, and he lied and said that he did, too, because he didn’t want her to turn it down for him. Seth is also capable of big, romantic gestures, as evidenced for his very public declaration of love for Summer. Seth isn’t always good at just being himself. When he first tries to woo Alex, he pretends to be something he isn’t in order to attract her. He projects a bad boy image because he thinks that’s what a girl like Alex would be interested in.

Inferior Introverted Sensing [Si]: Seth enjoys traditions, but he likes to personalize them by creating his own unique ones. Seth tries to combine his father’s Jewish faith with his mother’s Christian background and produces Chrismukkah. He gets very excited about his made-up holiday, forcing all of his friends and family to participate each year. Seth has negative feelings about the past and dislikes reminders of how lonely and unaccepted he was before Ryan’s arrival. When Ryan leaves Newport, Seth becomes so fearful about returning to his former, pre-Ryan existence that he runs (or, technically, sails) away from home. In other cases, Seth romanticizes the past and enjoys the mythology of his and Summer’s relationship, which he believes began with a poem she wrote when they were children. When he learns that the poem Summer recited was actually written by Taylor Townsend, he initially has trouble accepting that the event that first sparked his feelings for her was a lie.

Enneagram: 6w7 Sx/So


Seth: I want to come with you. You know what I’ve always wanted to do besides sail to Tahiti? I want to do that whole Kerouac thing. Hit the road, stop at diner to diner, the pancake tour of North America.
Ryan: No.
Seth: Fair enough.

Seth: Please, dude. I just need to talk about me for like several more hours at least.
Ryan: I thought you didn’t do that anymore.
Seth: That was the new Seth Cohen. I’m back, Ryan. Cohen Classic. Red, white, and blue.

Seth: Hey. What are you doing, working from home?
Kirsten: I’m on vacation.
Seth: (surveying the paperwork) Yes. Clearly.
Kirsten: I find reviewing end-of-the-year accounts to be very relaxing.
Seth: Okay. I hope that’s a recessive gene.

Seth: How was the mall?
Ryan: Eh, weird.
Seth: Yes. You’ve really painted a picture for me. I feel like I was there.
Ryan: Marissa picked up a few things. Without paying for them.
Seth: What, as in?
Ryan: Shoplifting.
Seth: Yeah, that’s weird.

Summer: What are we doing?
Anna: I don’t know. This is ridiculous.
Seth: Okay, you guys, one second please. Let’s not have one speed bump derail the whole train okay? Let’s not throw the baby out with the bath water. Let’s… let’s make some more metaphors.
Summer: Look, I’m not into talking about, like, feelings or whatever. But I like you, okay? And so does she. If we don’t put an end to this soon—
Anna: Someone’s going to get hurt.
Summer: You gotta choose Cohen.

Seth: So what’s it going to be, huh? Do you want your menorah or candy cane? Hm? Hanukkah or Christmas?
Ryan: Uh…
Seth: Uh uh. Don’t worry about it, buddy. Because in this house you don’t have to choose. Allow me to introduce you to a little something that I like to call Chrismukkah.
Ryan: Chrismukkah?
Seth: That’s right. It’s the new holiday Ryan, and it’s sweeping the nation.

Anna: That was so sweet what you said earlier. And I could tell you really meant it. We both know sincerity is not your strong point.
Seth: I’m working on it.

Marissa: So I’m just going to run to the girls’ room. It’s down the hall, right?
Anna: I gotta go too.
Seth: Right. Because girls can’t pee alone. Ryan rolls his eyes. What? It’s Anna. I could have said “pop a squat” in front of her if I wanted to.
Ryan: Sometimes I think you talk just to make sounds.
Seth: Sometimes I do.

Seth: Oh I get it. I’m just here for the comic relief.

Seth: The plan is undeniable, Ryan.
Ryan: I’m denying it.
Seth: We have my mom’s Range Rover. We have a perfect alibi as I go to this comic-book convention every year, and we also have my entire life of never doing anything wrong which completely lulls my parents into a false sense of trust.
Ryan: And you wanna throw all that away for Summer in a wet t-shirt doing body shots?
Seth: I’m sorry, I thought that was a rhetorical question. Yes, Ryan, yes. On the last weekend before school, one goes to Tijuana. It is tradition. And it is a rite of passage.
And you know what else? What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico.
Ryan: What happens in Mexico?
Seth: I don’t know, because it stays there. That’s why we must go!

Seth: You did accuse the guy of faking a suicide attempt.
Ryan: No I didn’t. I just didn’t believe him.
Seth: Oh. Okay. Hard to believe such blind compassion upset Marissa. You should go work things out.
Ryan: I don’t trust him. Something about Oliver’s… off.
Seth: Yeah. He tried to kill himself. Or he faked it, man. Either way, it’s pretty off.

Seth: Ever since the day you got here you have totally had my back and I, I just promise you I will never fail you again. I’m so sorry.

Seth: So do you want to tell me about your night, or—since I heard about it—can we just skip to my breakup with Anna?
Ryan: Really? Anna broke up with you?
Seth: Now why would you just assume Anna broke up with me?
Ryan: Seth, come on.
Seth: What does that mean?
Ryan: What, she didn’t break up with you?
Seth: No, she did, but you’re supposed to have my back.

Seth: I’m a man now. And not just like an after-your-Bar-Mitzvah-man, but a man man. I had sex with a girl. Summer, to be more specific.
Ryan: How was it?
Seth: I had sex.
Ryan: That bad.
Seth: No! Not that bad. Just, just kinda weird.
Ryan: Weird?
Seth: Not kinky weird, more like weird awkward. But hey, you know what? It was my first time, she’s a more experienced woman. That’s to be expected. And I did… make some faces in the middle that I wish that I could take back but I can’t. And there’s also sort of a whiny noise that came out towards the end. It sucked so bad. I was a fish, flopping around on dry land. Ryan, I was Nemo and I just wanted to go home.

Summer: Why are you doing this?
Seth: Because I like you Summer. This much. And if you don’t feel the same way about me then someone’s going to have to give me a hand down because it’s really high up here. And I could fall and that would be embarrassing. More embarrassing.

Seth: So she’s leaving.
Ryan: No, she’s staying.
Seth: What? Did you talk to Anna?
Ryan: Anna?
Seth: She’s moving back to Pittsburgh.
Ryan: Anna’s going back to Pittsburgh?
Seth: Uh… not anymore according to you.
Ryan: I’m totally confused.
Seth: She—Anna—is leaving.
Ryan: She—Theresa—is staying.
Seth: Right got it. So she really is moving.
Ryan: It sucks.
Seth: I think it’s because of me. I can’t believe I caused a girl to leave the state. The county, maybe, sure. Fine.
Ryan: You really think it’s ’cause of you?
Seth: Well, I mean, we broke up, she went back East. She had a great time. She comes back, only to see me standing on a coffee cart declaring my eternal love for Summer.
Ryan: Maybe she just doesn’t feel that comfortable here. Not everyone does.
Seth: I know, I get that. But if it is ’cause of me, maybe I can talk her out of it. Except for the fact that I can’t ask her if it’s ’cause of me without sounding totally self-absorbed. And I’m not self-absorbed, right Ryan? Me. Me.
Ryan: Huh?
Seth: Me.
Ryan: Sorry.
Seth: Me.
Ryan: Just thinking about Theresa.

Ryan: You and Anna, you guys talk?
Seth: Do not change the subject to me because I am powerless not to talk about it. I tried and she gave me a list of reasons why she’s leaving.
Ryan: You didn’t make the cut, did you?
Seth: But she’s lying. I want her to know that, you know, I’m sorry I hurt her feelings but she doesn’t have to do this. She shouldn’t be doing this.
Ryan: Then just tell her.
Seth: “Just tell her.” Simple. Honest. Direct. No wonder I never considered it. Okay fine. I will. I’ll tell her tonight but I have to have a little bubbly first. A little veritas and vino, know what I mean?
Ryan: Hardly ever.

Summer: You’re still gonna see him. Chino’s not that far away.
Seth: I just can’t believe he’s leaving. He’s the first real friend I’ve ever had. He’s the only real friend I’ve ever had.
Summer: No. You have me.
Seth: Yeah, but that’s not the same thing. You don’t get it. Before he got here, I was the biggest loser. This place was hell for me, okay? I can’t help him and I just, I can’t even imagine what’s it’s gonna be like here without him.

Ryan: How’d you make it all the way from Newport on that little catamaran?
Seth: Hm. Well, Ryan, sit down, my son. motions for him to sit down. It was a long and torturous journey, and I’m
not gonna, I’m not gonna sugar coat any details with you—
Ryan: Please don’t.
Seth: —’cause we’re friends. First, I sailed to Catalina. Then, I sailed to Santa Barbara. Santa Barbara, I ran out
of snacks. Freaked out a little bit, pawned my boat for cash, took a Greyhound to Portland.
Ryan: You took a bus.
Seth: Yeah. But don’t say it like that, cause it was a local. Okay, have you ever been in one of those? Okay, not for the
faint of heart.
Ryan: I can’t believe after all that you took a bus.
Seth: Yeah. I think we’re definitely going to have to come up with a better story for school though, that’d be good.
Ryan: I don’t know, I like the bus idea. It’s cool.
Seth: Okay, what about maybe… boat sank, saved by whales? It’s very Whale Rider.
Ryan: What else you got?
Seth: I took a boat, boat sank, saved by a mermaid? Boat sank, stranded on a desert island…

Felicity Smoak (Arrow): ENTP

Dominant Extroverted Intuition [Ne]: Felicity is all possibilities, all the time. The girl screams Ne. She throws out idea after idea so quickly that she’s already on idea number eight before your brain has had a chance to process number one. She’s constantly making connections between things, until it becomes nearly impossible to track how she reached her end point from her start point. It can be very difficult to stay on board her train of thought. It’s non-linear and scattered, which leads to her constant rambling. One of the only people who has no trouble keeping up with Felicity is Cisco, another ENTP. Felicity enjoys theorizing for the sake of theorizing. It doesn’t have to be in service of anything, it’s just entertaining for her.

Auxiliary Introverted Thinking [Ti]: It’s important to Felicity to be able to figure things out. She wants to solve the puzzle. If she can’t, it’s infuriating. She uses her logic to support her Ne ideas, narrowing them down only after she’s through with her brainstorming. Felicity has a deep understanding of how things work and how to fix them. She’s skilled at analyzing things and can easily come up with the best, most efficient solution. She’s constantly asking questions and driven by her desire to understand. She likes to accumulate knowledge and is always searching for answers. Felicity is good with computers and mathematics. She enjoys activities that require her to use her brain. She can be blunt, but when she speaks her mind, she often does it in humorous, inoffensive ways (Ti-Fe), unless she’s trying to hurt someone. In these cases, she can be rather brutal.

Tertiary Extroverted Feeling [Fe]: Considering its place in her functional stack, Felicity has very well-developed Fe. She is warm, encouraging, upfront about her feelings, considerate, and kind. She is very supportive of others and knows how to make them feel good about themselves. Because her mind moves so quickly, she often blurts things out that can be offensive but she doesn’t mean to be rude. She can sometimes be a little socially awkward, not knowing when to shut up. She has a good sense of what others are feeling and is good at trying to help people in need. She likes when things are harmonious and will often try to smooth over other people’s brusqueness (cough, Oliver, cough) in an attempt to keep things nice.

Inferior Introverted Sensing [Si]: Because Felicity is such a big picture thinker, she doesn’t tend to get hung up on details. She doesn’t have much regard for rules and often bends (or breaks) them when necessary. She can be very scatter-brained at times. She doesn’t tend to get hung up on the past and doesn’t really talk about it much. She can often get so caught up in one of her endless mental streams that she loses focus on the task at hand.

Enneagram: 6w5 Sx/So


Felicity: I hate mysteries. They bug me. They need to be solved.

Felicity: I told you so, I told you so, I told you so. How many times do you think that is?
Oliver: I wasn’t keeping count.
Felicity: Hmm. Eleven, I think, but not nearly enough. You ready? Becuase your operating theater is now lit, and all of the things that we need to do to get ourselves out of this hermetically sealed bunker, stiching up a wound from a fall that I totally predicted isn’t one of them. I think that counts as twelve.

Oliver:There’s a steam tunnel underneath this part of the Bunker.
[moving a metal cabinet aside, he unveils a grate in the wall]
Oliver: Do we have anything to pry this open?
Felicity: I don’t know. It doesn’t look priable.
Oliver: Felicity, this is it.
Felicity: Okay. This could be the fumes talking, but I think I have a slightly insane idea.
Oliver: How insane is “slightly insane”?
Felicity: Well, that depends on how you feel about setting off an explosive arrow in a room full of flamable gas.

Felicity:Do you remember what we were discussing before we got EMP blasted?
Oliver: Mm-hmm.
Felicity: The fact that I back your play even when I don’t agree, but you don’t have the same consideration for me. You didn’t listen to me when I wanted to join Helix.
Oliver: With good reason.
Felicity: I could say the same thing about you a million times over, but I support you because I trust you.
Oliver: Felicity, I trust you.
Felicity: Really? ‘Cause the hole in your back says otherwise.
Oliver: Fair enough.

Felicity:My math is probably right, but what if it’s wrong?
Oliver: Are… are you still Felicity?
Felicity: Yeah.
Oliver: Your math is always right.

Felicity: Okay. Um, the arrow needs to go in at exactly a 45 degree angle.
Oliver: Okay. By “exactly”, do you mean exactly?
Felicity: Well, one centimeter off and the blast will force the grate off, igniting the gas, and… Please don’t miss.

Oliver:My identity is a closely-guarded secret known only to a few and, if it were to get out, will endanger my family, my friends, and it would embolden my enemies to retaliate at me through them.
Felicity: What Oliver is trying to say is that he had a lovely time working with you and getting to know each of you, and he can’t wait to do it again soon.
Oliver: Right.
Cisco: You know, it didn’t sound like that’s what he was saying.

Oliver:Felicity… I can’t defeat Ra’s al Ghul.
Felicity: Oliver can’t. The Arrow can’t. Both those men tried and both those men failed. You remember what you said to me during that night in Nanda Parbat? You’re no longer either of those men. You’ve become… someone else. Become something else. This… is different now. Because despite your best efforts, you’ve allowed yourself to feel something. I know you think that’s a weakness, it’s not. It’s your key to beating Ra’s. Don’t fight to die. Fight to live.

Felicity:Good work planting all of Professor Stein’s nano-weapons, but we still got Dominators all over the country. This looks like a job for Supergirl.
Barry: Thanks, Felicity. I’m not the least bit insulted.
Felicity: Ah, sorry. I mean Supergirl and Flash. This is totally a job for the both of you. That’s what I meant. Supergirl and… Flash.

Felicity:I don’t even know why I’m crying. I didn’t even like Moira. Terrible thing to say about someone after they’ve just died. In my defense, she was not nice. She was diabolical. Not a word you often hear at someone’s funeral.
John: You’re not crying for her, Felicity, you’re crying for Oliver.

Felicity:Seeing Roy like this reminds me of Barry. And Barry reminds me of S.T.A.R. Labs. S.T.A.R. Labs reminds me of the Mirakuru cure that they’re working on, which we could really use… right now.

Felicity:Is that the satellite frequency communicator TX50? Can I touch it? I know that sounds a little weird and creepy, but I’ve never seen one in real life.
Amanda Waller: It’s classified equipment, Ms. Smoak.
Felicity: You must feel very powerful knowing everything about everyone. Not powerful in an evil dictator Stalin way. More of a… knowledge is power, way.

Oliver:Felicity, are you hacking into the Merlyn Global mainframe?
Felicity: “Hacking” is such an ugly word. No. I’m… Yeah. Totally hacking into the Merlyn Global mainframe.

Oliver:How’s it going?
Felicity: This tiny piece of plastic has more computing power in it than most high-end laptops. I have half a mind to reverse engineer it for Palmer Tech.
Oliver: But first?
Felicity: Yes, I found a tiny flaw in the OS code, and I’m pretty sure I can exploit it to open a back door to his main computer system.
Oliver: Right, but wouldn’t that risk exposing us?
Felicity: My pride that you understood what I was saying is slightly undercut by your lack of faith in me.

Felicity: I’m conducting a review of all the nodes, sub-nodes, and network access points where the web nuke would do the most damage.
Oliver: Any luck?
Felicity: Why you always ask me that? If I had any luck looking for what I’m looking for, I would be telling you about it instead of looking for it. Sorry. Stressed.

Felicity: Let’s get one thing straight. The only person who gets to talk in sentence fragments around here is me.

Felicity:I want a code name.
Oliver: What?
Felicity: Everyone’s got a code name; you even got a new one. I want a code name.
Oliver: Find the bomb, and then we’ll talk.

Felicity:What are you gonna do, put an arrow in him?
Oliver: I am considering it.
Felicity: [to Barry] Don’t worry, he’s kidding!How is this any different from when your mother shot you and you came to me for help?
Barry: Your mother shot you?
Felicity: Or when you brought Dig down here when he was poisoned with curare?
Oliver:The difference is that I did my homework on both of you! I just don’t tell people easily.
Barry: I’m not gonna tell anyone. And you don’t have to thank me, but you should thank her instead of being kind of a jerk. Mr. Queen.