Charlie Bradbury (Supernatural): ENTP

Dominant Extroverted Intuition [Ne]: Charlie is all about possibilities and ideas. She enjoys the fantastical, the novel, and anything different. Charlie has a tremendous amount of energy and tends to speak quickly, with one thought flowing into the next. She has a strong sense of adventure an and, more than anything, yearns for a quest. Charlie is extremely intuitive and she’s very good at reading between the lines and picking up on what’s really going on in most situations. Charlie enjoys LARPing because it gives her a break from regular, mundane reality. “It’s an escape. I mean, here, I’m queen, a hero. Out there in the real world, I’m just hacking out code and chugging coffee all day long.” Because her brain works so quickly, Charlie is typically good at improvising and can keep people talking or distract them when necessary.

Auxiliary Introverted Thinking [Ti]: When Charlie is interested in something, she wants to acquire as much knowledge about it as she possibly can. She’s like a sponge, absorbing every bit of information she can get her hands on until she’s an expert. Although she’s a high school dropout, she has one of the sharpest minds at Roman Inc. Sam and Dean are impressed by the amount of research she has done to become a hunter. Charlie is extremely analytical and is very quick to determine logical inconsistencies, which also aid her in hunting. She can easily assess which theories and explanations are valid and which are impossible. Charlie is incredibly gifted with computers. She can figure out systems and machines very quickly, making her an asset to the Winchesters on numerous occasions. Charlie seeks to understand and wants to know how and why things work.

Tertiary Extroverted Feeling [Fe]: While she can be a bit socially awkward, Charlie genuinely cares about people and wants to help them. Even though it’s dangerous, she can’t just abandon Moondoor. She’s their queen and she has to stay and fight for her home and her people. Charlie is extremely empathetic, and is very in tune with the emotions of the people around her. She always picks up on what’s going on between Sam and Dean, and tries to get them to talk to her about what’s going on and how they’re feeling. Charlie typically tries to do the right thing in most situations, though her issues with authority cause her to frequently break the law. When she discovered that the company she was working for was outsourcing to child labor, she outed them, which resulted in her being fired. Charlie is able to use her intuition (Ne) to make fairly accurate assumptions about what’s going on between people (Fe). “And let me guess, in doing so, he did something you didn’t want, and that pissed you off. And you said something that hurt him?”

Inferior Introverted Sensing [Si]: Charlie prefers to focus on the future always wants to move forward. She doesn’t like to talk about her past, and is relatively okay with assuming new identities and leaving things behind. However, she does have difficulty letting go at times. Even though her mother’s condition will never improve, Charlie refuses to take her off of life support, and acquires the money to pay for it by any means necessary. When she can, Charlie sneaks into the hospital and reads her the same books she read as a child. She often makes references, as she is very quick to pick up on similarities between what she’s currently experiencing, and things she has read, watched, or heard in the past, which aid in her sense of humor. She has a habit of quoting movies (often, at very serious or dangerous moments), because she’s “always wanted to say that.” Charlie struggles to respect authority and doesn’t like to play by the rules, which often lands her in hot water.

Enneagram: 7w6 9w1 2w1 Sx/So

Ninth Doctor (Doctor Who): ISTP

Dominant Introverted Thinking [Ti]: The Doctor’s internal logic is his greatest asset. The Doctor believes he can solve any problem, and is able to look beyond the facts, allowing him to come to creative solutions. While his logical reasoning often saves the day, it also sometimes lands him in hot water with people because it causes him to be extremely blunt, and he tends to comes across as insensitive or rude. The Doctor is naturally curious and always seeks to understand the hows and the whys in every situation he finds himself in. He is able to make detached decisions based on rationality rather than emotion. He’s okay with allowing Gwyneth to sacrifice herself because the good of the many outweigh just one person’s life. When he first meets Rose, he’s interested in her theory, even though he knows it’s incorrect. But he’s interested in her logical process and how she arrived at her hypothesis (that the Autons are students playing a prank). He’s impressed by her analysis of the situation and declares that it makes sense, even though her assumption is wrong. The Doctor usually thinks to himself and only reveals details that are entirely necessary. He doesn’t want to explain anything to Rose at first, and only gives her brief snippets of information, until she gradually begins to prove herself to be useful to him. The Doctor wants people to think critically about the world around them. He’s frustrated when they don’t open their minds. “And no one’s going to stop you because you’ve bred a human race that doesn’t bother to ask questions. Stupid little slaves, believing every lie. They’ll just trot right into the slaughter house if they’re told it’s made of gold.” The Doctor always approaches things reasonably. When Rose wonders if he’s going to scan for alien tech after a crash, he simply responds by saying, “Rose, it hit the middle of London with a very loud bang. I’m going to ask.” The Doctor needs to know how a phone that wasn’t actually a phone was able to ring, and becomes obsessed with getting answers about it from Nancy. It’s not enough for him to know that human DNA is being converted to create these “things.” He also needs to know why and what the point of it is!

Auxiliary Extroverted Sensing [Se]: Although the Doctor always has ideas, they’re typically pretty grounded and based on what he knows is possible. He doesn’t really get caught up in flights of fancy (like a couple of his later incarnations). The Ninth Doctor is also much more conscious of fitting in with the time period than some of his regenerations, and tells Rose that she must blend in with their surroundings. He tells Rose that he travels in order to see and experience. Not knowing what’s going to happen is fun and stimulating! He wants to watch events unfold and be part of them! It frustrates the Doctor when humanity proves incapable of believing in what’s right in front of them, especially when they seem to have no difficulty believing in things that can’t be seen or proven. “You’re happy to believe in something that’s invisible, but if it’s staring you in the face, nope, can’t see it. There’s a scientific explanation for that. You’re thick.” The Doctor tends to enjoy the moment without spending too much time brooding over the past or worrying about the future. He takes things as they come and enjoys adventure. He encourages others to just dive in and start doing. “The thing is, Adam, time travel’s like visiting Paris. You can’t just read the guide book, you’ve got to throw yourself in. Eat the food, use the wrong verbs, get charged double and end up kissing complete strangers. Or is that just me? Stop asking questions, go and do it.” The Doctor is so focused on the present that even the immediate past doesn’t have much impact on him. Somebody just died, but hey, they’re already gone. He can’t fix that, but he can prevent more people from dying now so that needs to be his primary objective.

Tertiary Introverted Intuition [Ni]: The Doctor has very good intuition. However, he tends to follow one of his instincts until it proves incorrect, rather than juggling a bunch of hunches at once. The Doctor is able to see how events will unfold and understands motivations. “That’s why the Slitheen went for spectacle. They want the whole world panicking, because you lot, you get scared, you lash out… You get the codes, release the missiles, but not into space because there’s nothing there. You attack every other country on Earth. They retaliate, fight back. World War Three. Whole planet gets nuked.” While he is usually able to understand how events will unfold and is able to arrive at correct conclusions, he sometimes fails to understand what’s really going on in a particular situation (such as trusting the Gelth and trying to help them, only to realize they were actually the enemy). With no prior knowledge whatsoever, the Doctor is able to guess that Nancy lost someone and wonders who it was. Then, he is able to intuit that her little brother was actually her child, but since she was an unwed teenager at the time, she was forced to pretend that she was his older sibling instead of his mother. However, he does sometimes fail to relate things to the big picture. When the Doctor realizes that the words “Bad Wolf” keep turning up everywhere he and Rose go, he mistakenly writes it off as a big coincidence and doesn’t think much of it.

Inferior Extroverted Feeling [Fe]: It’s very difficult for the Doctor to open up and talk about his feelings. He doesn’t like to talk about the Time War or his feelings about it. He has a habit of getting completely immersed in the mystery that he forgets about the people who are involved. When he first meets Rose, he forgets all about Mickey, and appears rather indifferent to her feelings about losing him. However, he claims that because he’s trying to saving the entire planet, it’s difficult for him to focus on just one individual. He fails to tell Rose that there is a possibility that Mickey is still alive, and when she admonishes him for this, he scolds her, telling her to “keep the domestics outside” (which he says on more than one occasion). The Doctor lacks tact and doesn’t really concern himself with protecting other people’s feelings. He tells it like it is, however unpleasant it might be for those around him. The Doctor’s sense of morality is more malleable than Rose’s. She is completely against allowing the Gelth to use the bodies of the deceased in order to save their species, but the Doctor is okay with it if that’s what it takes to keep them alive. The thought is appalling to Rose, but the morality of the situation doesn’t weigh heavily on the Doctor. “Not decent? Not polite? It could save their lives.” To him, it’s simply recycling. In order to get Rose to see things in a new light, he asks if she carries a donor card, and while she says she does, but that this is different, he reponds by saying “It is different, yeah. It’s a different morality. Get used to it or go home. You heard what they said, time’s short. I can’t worry about a few corpses when the last of the Gelth could be dying.” He often refuses to get involved with Rose’s personal life and is unwilling to spend time with her mother. He doesn’t care if Jackie wants him to come over. He has no interest in wasting time with her when there’s an entire universe to explore! The Doctor can be somewhat callous about other people’s losses, telling a man he can mourn his father later, because there’s nothing they can do to help him now. He’s gone, we’re here, we need to focus on saving our own hide. Although the Doctor isn’t great with relating to people in one-on-one situations, he does care about people and wants to help them. He’s overjoyed during the one occasion where he is able to successfully save everyone.

Enneagram: 5w6 8w7 2w1 Sx/So

Note: I considered 7 for the Doctor, but I think that’s because fives can sometimes take on characteristics of sevens. I might change my opinion on this, but for now, I’m sticking with 5.

Shawn Hunter (Boy Meets World): ISFP

Dominant Introverted Feeling [Fi]: Shawn’s feelings are intense and private. He doesn’t typically open up to other people, and instead acts on his emotions instead of talking them out with his friends. When he realizes that Cory has applied to Stanford, he “breaks up” with him as a defense mechanism. He leaves Cory before Cory can leave him. He feels that when high school is over, they’ll have no choice but to go their separate ways, and so he acts on these feelings by shutting Cory out and making new friends. While Shawn isn’t great at verbalizing his feelings, he is able to get them out by writing about them, and is proven to have a flair for poetry. Shawn usually does what he feels is right for himself, regardless of what others want from him or expect of him. Shawn is very good at interpreting situations and understanding people’s true intentions, but even though he’s able to accurately assess people’s motivations, he often impetuously goes along with them anyway, even when he knows better. He knows that the men from Cory’s job at the restaurant are in the mob and warns Cory, yet he takes Cory’s place when he quits because he’s desperate for money. He instantly realizes that the residents of The Center are members of a cult, but he joins them anyway because he wants to be part of something bigger than himself, where people don’t judge one another. He feels accepted for who he is there, which is very important to him. Shawn is willing to fight for what he believes in and doesn’t back down simply to keep the peace. He does whatever he feels is the right thing, though sometimes it takes him time to decide for certain what that is.

Auxiliary Extroverted Sensing [Se]: One of Shawn’s trademark characteristics is his impulsiveness. He often acts without thinking things through and lands himself in trouble. He blows up a mailbox with a cherry bomb and decides to hide out at Cory’s because he’s afraid to go home to his parents. Although is obviously only a short-term solution that can’t work forever, Shawn has trouble seeing further than the present moment. He steals Jonathan’s motorcycle, even though he’s underage and doesn’t have a license in order to go looking for his father, and ends up getting caught by the police. Shawn is very fond of physical beauty. He enjoys meeting women and going on dates without actually making a commitment, and tends to get bored and move on quickly. He has a talent for photography, and nearly decides against going to college in order to pursue it. Shawn is typically more concerned with enjoying the moment than with being responsible and working hard. He doesn’t take the work study program seriously and goofs off, which irks Cory, who wants to excel. Shawn is good at seeing opportunities in his environment and using what is available to him to his advantage. When Mr. Feeny assigns them a project where they must invent a business and write a report, Shawn decides to turn Feeny’s house into a bed and breakfast while he’s away and has actual guests stay at his home. Shawn has a tendency to see things as they are and remains quite practical about life, whereas Cory tends to be more idealistic and hopeful. Shawn understands that there’s a good chance he won’t get into college and will have to find full-time employment, even though Cory refuses to accept that.

Tertiary Introverted Intuition [Ni]: Although he doesn’t spend much time concerning himself with the future, there are moments where Shawn begins to panic about it and responds by acting rashly. When he realizes that Cory might end up at a college on the other side of the country, he cuts him out his life to spare himself the pain. On another occasion, Shawn tries to sever ties with Cory because they’re completely different people from polar opposite backgrounds. Shawn is from a family of criminals and degenerates and he’s sure that there’s no bright future in store for him. He becomes pessimistic about where he’ll end up, and decides he and Cory are not suited for one another. Shawn’s outlook on the long-term future is normally very negative, and he sometimes sabotages himself because he has difficulty believing in himself. Sometimes, Shawn can be extremely goal-oriented and can have tunnel vision. For instance, when Mr. Feeny assigns him to acquire tickets to the Superbowl or fail, Shawn doesn’t stop until he gets the tickets, telling Cory that doing so was the only thing that mattered and he was going to get there no matter what. He also becomes obsessed with helping Cory and Topanga get back together, because their love was symbolic of hope and without it, he had nothing to depend on, and he tried everything he could think of to help them reconnect. Shawn often displays a keen awareness when it comes to people and situations (Fi-Ni), and has the ability to accurately figure out what’s happening with little to no prior information. He often seems to immediately know what’s really going on with his friends or in a particular situation.

Inferior Extroverted Thinking [Te]: Shawn doesn’t really know what his place is in society or in the world. He doesn’t think that he’s cut out to be a successful, productive member of society. Shawn doesn’t like to be controlled and tends to get defensive and rebel when other people try to tell him what to do. He doesn’t want to follow the rules or go along with conventional norms. He wants to be his own person and resents being told what to do with his own life. Maybe college isn’t for him! It’s not for everyone, you know. When Shawn sets his mind to something, he often has a good head for business, as evidenced in his project for Feeny’s class. He was able to run a successful bed and breakfast. He advertised at the airport and was able to think of telling the cab driver to lie to potential customers about the hotels being booked. Shawn also did very well in his work study program. He rose quickly through the ranks and fit in well at the advertising company, where he was asked to pitch ideas which managed to impress one of the firm’s top executives.

Enneagram: 7w8 8w7 4w5 Sx/Sp

Rapunzel (Tangled): ENFJ

Dominant Extroverted Feeling [Fe]: Rapunzel wants to please Mother Gothel and refrains from leaving her tower for her entire life in order to keep her happy. She spends her entire life doing what is expected of her and trying to be a good daughter. She is kind, warm, and genuine, and inspires others to open up and be vulnerable around her. She wants to be validated and doesn’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings or disappoint them (particularly Mother Gothel). Rapunzel is very good at tapping into other people’s feelings and empathizing with them. More than once, she gets out of a sticky situation by relating emotionally. She is able to get the men in the tavern to discuss their dreams, which keeps Flynn from being captured, and she is able to convince Maximus to wait before bringing Flynn in, which she does using flattery and by appealing to his softer side.

Auxiliary Introverted Intuition [Ni]: For her entire life, Rapunzel is fixated on the lights that appear on her birthday. They’re a sign and they were meant for her. She needs to go see them. This one goal drives her, and she singularly focused on turning the dream into a reality. This deep-seated drive is the only thing strong enough to make her defy Mother Gothel. Rapunzel doesn’t tend to take things as they are, instead preferring fantastical explanations. “Something brought you here, Flynn Ryder. Call it what you will, fate, destiny-“. Rapunzel has an “Aha!” moment after seeing the sun symbol, and realizes that she’s the lost princess. She doesn’t need to have it confirmed by anybody else, she knows it.

Tertiary Extroverted Sensing [Se]: When Rapunzel escapes her tower, she is enthralled by all of the sensory experiences the world has to offer. She is torn between her desire to run and play and do and her emotional meltdown over betraying Mother Gothel. To keep herself entertained throughout the day, Rapunzel paints, cooks, knits, cleans, plays guitar, dances, climbs, sketches, makes candles, and engages in other physical activities to occupy herself. Rapunzel is good at seeing potential in her environment, and often uses it to her advantage in her adventure with Flynn. Rapunzel gets a thrill out of experiencing the world outside of her tower. “Just smell the grass, the dirt. Just like I dreamed they’d be. Just feel that summer breeze. The way it’s calling me. For like the first time ever, I’m completely free. I could go running, and racing, and dancing… and chasing, and leaping and bounding. hair flying, heart pounding and splashing and reeling. And finally feeling, now’s when my life begins.”

Inferior Introverted Thinking [Ti]: Rapunzel is able to think creatively, which allows her to get herself out of trouble. She seeks to understand what the lanterns are. In addition to all of the sensory activities she enjoys, Rapunzel also likes solving puzzles and playing chess. She spends a lot of time analyzing her emotions, and has a difficult time detaching from them in her decisions.

Note: I completely get the ESFJ argument, and I actually struggled with this typing for quite some time. Many of the Si arguments I see have to do with Rapunzel repeating activities day in and day out and taking Mother Gothel’s word for what the outside world is like. However, I don’t think this is entirely fair, given her circumstances. Rapunzel is trapped, and Mother Gothel is the only other person she has contact with. If you were trapped in a room for your entire life, you’d probably keep yourself occupied with what was available to you, and trust the woman you thought was your mother. Rapunzel isn’t truly happy with her everyday routine, though. She does it to keep herself stimulated (Se), but the entire point of the song is in the title. She asks “When will my life begin?” because she’s dissatisfied with performing the same tasks day in and day out. I don’t think her obsession with the lanterns stems from Si, but from Ni. She feels a deep connection to them that she has no way of explaining. I don’t believe that her going back and forth about whether she’s doing the right thing once she leaves is indicative of low Ne. I think that’s just her Fe. Her only real qualm is how her actions will affect Mother Gothel. I totally understand the ESFJ argument, though, and regularly bounce back and forth between the two types, so if I change my mind in the future, I’ll re-type her. Also, I see her typed as an ENFP a lot but she’s so Fe.

Enneagram: 7w6 2w1 9w8 Sx/So

Kat Edison (The Bold Type): ENFP

Dominant Extroverted Intuition [Ne]: Kat is always looking to the future and brainstorming ideas to keep Scarlet seen and heard. She has excellent intuition and is very good at reading between the lines. When Sutton tries to dissuade her from going after Adena’s story, Kat refuses to back down because she believes that Jacqueline “was basically telling her to go after that story.” She is a skilled communicator and knows how to persuade people to get what she wants from them. Because Kat is so focused on constantly generating ideas, she can sometimes fail to live in the moment and just be. Kat likes to keep her options open, which can make it difficult for her to make commitments. She doesn’t express her feelings to Adena right away because she doesn’t know what she wants. When Kat tells her friends that she can do a better job of satisfying herself sexually than a man could, Sutton responds by saying, “That’s because you never stick around long enough. Takes time to train them.” Kat always has very fresh, innovative ideas to present, which is what makes her so good at her job. Kat has an eye for possible future trends and is very conscious of the “next big thing” (such as when she comes up with the plan to launch a virtual reality app for Scarlet). “Right now, everyone is front row at a fashion show. But, I mean, the possibilities are… endless. We could take our readers through a private workout with one of our trainers or even to the U.N. See Emma Watson give her speech on women. While we’re launching, we would let people try them out at events, give a certain number away as freebies. More and more people are owning VR goggles in their homes. This is definitely the next big thing, so I want Scarlet to be the first magazine with their own VR app.”

Auxiliary Introverted Feeling [Fi]: As Adena points out very shortly after meeting her, Kat has a tendency to mask her emotions with humor. It’s hard for her to open up about how she feels. When Kat is feeling emotional, she needs to do something about it, and often tries to take action to fix the problem (Fi-Te). It’s important for Kat to be true to herself, live authentically, and be independent. Kat is extremely upfront and doesn’t hold back. When she realizes that she might be beginning to have feelings for another woman, she doesn’t hesitate to discuss it with her friends, even though it’s completely new, unchartered territory. She doesn’t care that the person she’s falling for happens to be a woman. She just wants to figure out what it is she’s feeling so she can do something about it. With Kat, what you see is very much what you get, and she makes no apologies for who she is. Kat fights for what she believes in and doesn’t hesitate to stand up for what she thinks is right. She attempts to rally her Scarlet colleagues to begin tweeting in order to get Adena out of trouble with the law after she’s caught smuggling vibrators into her home country, where such acts are strictly forbidden. Kat also gets gets arrested while defending Adena from a prejudiced man on the street, and is appalled at how somebody could hate a perfect stranger that much.

Tertiary Extroverted Thinking [Te]: While Kat enjoys tossing out all kinds of ideas, she’s also quite skilled at executing those ideas. She is blunt, direct, and has no problem speaking her mind. Kat is good at thinking aloud and allowing those around her to understand her thought process. While she is motivated to tackle stories and innovate in ways that help Scarlet’s readers, she is also keenly aware that the magazine must also benefit from whatever plans she puts into motion. She is able to lay out her arguments about why something is not only positive for their audience, but for the magazine as well. “Okay, I just – I think this story is worth fighting for. It’s click gold for us, it hits all of our boxes, no pun intended. It’s feel-good, it’s sexy…” External indicators of success are important to Kat. She obsesses over how many followers the magazine has on social media, and becomes preoccupied with making sure they reach a certain number. Kat is good at getting straight down to business and goes after what she’s passionate about with a can-do, take no prisoners spirit. Kat is relentless and doesn’t give up when she sets her mind to something. She is good at getting her way without violating any rules, such as when the magazine forbid her from posting images of women’s nipples for breast cancer awareness, so she began sharing images of men’s nipples instead, which didn’t violate any rules. Kat has no trouble taking command of a room and barking out orders, but often does so with a light, friendly touch (unless she’s angry or upset). Sometimes, Kat can fail to think things all the way through before charging in and typically deals with her emotions by quickly springing into action, which sometimes lands her in hot water. She helps Jane deal with her orgasm problem by being proactive and bringing her to a sex therapist to address the issue head-on.

Inferior Introverted Sensing [Si]: Kat tends to resist the normal and the conventional. She’s a free spirit and doesn’t rely on what’s safe or familiar. Kat enjoys throwing herself into new situations, but sometimes, she can find herself in the grip of her inferior function. While she accepts that she has romantic feelings for Adena, she has trouble beginning a relationship with her. She makes the decision to fly out of the country to be with Adena, leaving her friends, her job, and her life, but as they’re about to board the plane, Kat is unable to go through with it (though she eventually decides to take the risk and go for it). She is constantly encouraging the people around her to take chances and repeatedly admonishes Jane, who prefers to play it safe and do things the way they’ve always been done. You just need to do something crazy!

Enneagram: 7w8 3w4 8w7 Sx/So

Hades (Hercules): ENTP

Dominant Extroverted Intuition [Ne]: Hades has very good intuition and is able to sense potential threats to his plans. After meeting Hercules as an infant, he immediately returns to the Underworld to ask the fates if he will “mess up my hostile takeover bid, or what?” Hades is a master manipulator and very good at knowing how to get what he needs from people. When Hercules tries to make a deal with Hades in order to rescue Meg, he hesitates before agreeing to let Hercules take Meg’s place, because he needs time to run through all of the ways the deal could backfire and blow up in his face. “Oh, well. The son of my hated rival trapped forever in the River of Death. Hmm… is there a downside to this?” He needs time to think of the possibilities. Is there some way this could backfire? Unfortunately for Hades, he’s so eager to finally get Hercules out of his way once and for all that he agrees, unable to foresee that this act of love and selflessness would reinstate Hercules as a full-fledged God.

Auxiliary Introverted Thinking [Ti]: Although he’s a formidable villain, Hades is often able to keep things “light” through his wit and sarcastic sense of humor. He doesn’t get hung up when his main approach doesn’t work. While Hades isn’t an extraordinary planner, he i able to improvise and adjust them as necessary – if one falls through, he just simply throws another curve ball at Hercules. He sees that physical challenges aren’t working in his quest to defeat Hercules, so he decides to rework his plans by attacking him emotionally instead (Ti-Fe). Hades is skilled at debating and he can be very convincing when trying to persuade people into making a deal with him, or getting them to do whatever he wants from them. Hades doesn’t let the facts of a situation throw him off. Yes, baby Hercules is a God and Gods are immortal… so how do you kill him? Well, you just turn him mortal first! Hades always believes he can solve any problem he faces. When he learns of Pain and Panic’s failure eighteen years later, he is still confident that he can prevent Hercules from thwarting his plans.

Tertiary Extroverted Feeling [Fe]: It’s easy for Hades to tap into other people’s emotions to get them to do what he wants. He knows how to manipulate the people around him and searches for emotional weaknesses to exploit. Hades has a very bad temper and difficulty controlling his emotions. When he loses his cool, he immediately tries to regain his composure. He’s usually pretty upfront about how he feels, though he sometimes attempts to put on an act if it’s in service of his primary objective. Hades uses Hercules’s feelings for Meg to strike a deal with him – Hercules cannot interfere with Hades’ plans by playing the hero, and in exchange, Meg will not be harmed. Hades prefers making deals, using flattery (as he did with Lachesis in order to get her to reveal the future), and persuasion as his tactics instead of conquering with brute force. He sees how people can be useful to him and uses that to form his strategies. Hades also plays on Meg’s pain in order to get her to continue helping him take down Hercules.

Inferior Introverted Sensing [Si]: Hades tries to learn from the past and creates theories based on what he’s previously observed (Ne-Si). ” See, he’s gotta have a weakness, because everybody’s got a weakness, I mean for Pandora, it was the box thing, for the Trojans, hey, they bet on the wrong horse, okay?” He tries to convince Meg that Hercules isn’t any different. He’s a guy! He will hurt you eventually! They all do! Although Pain and Panic lied to him, failed in their mission, and often make mistakes (not informing him when the Fates arrived), he continues to use them to carry out important missions, though it’s unclear if this is because he’s failed to learn from the past, or because he has a certain amount of sentimental attachment to them.

Enneagram: 7w8 3w4 8w7 So/Sx

Flynn Rider/Eugene Fitzherbert (Tangled): ESTP

Dominant Extroverted Sensing [Se]: Flynn sees opportunities everywhere and doesn’t hesitate to act on them. He enjoys adventure and has no trouble taking risks that put him in dangerous situations. He’s a thief who doesn’t think twice about stealing the tiara of the lost princess from the palace. Flynn is quick, agile, and uses his keen awareness of his environment to evade capture. When he’s being pursued by the guards and comes across Rapunzel’s tower, he climbs it without hesitation to hide out there. He improvises in the moment and gives little thought to the potential consequences. Flynn sees things for exactly what they are without reading into them. When Rapunzel says, “Something brought you here, Flynn Ryder. Call it what you will, fate, destiny…” Flynn cuts her off simply by saying “A horse.” Flynn thinks quickly in the moment, using a nearby shard of a mirror to cut Rapunzel’s hair, thus defeating Mother Gothel.

Auxiliary Introverted Thinking [Ti]: If it makes logical sense to Flynn, he does it, regardless of who gets hurt in the process. His priority is to steal the tiara without getting arrested. As he’s being chased by the guards, he uses the Slabbington brothers to give him a boost, and leaves them behind to get caught. Flynn isn’t lacking in the wit department, and uses this both in his sense of humor, and in his various schemes. He’s a rational thinker and He’s able to come up with creative solutions to his problems on the fly without planning ahead (cutting Rapunzel’s hair).

Tertiary Extroverted Feeling [Fe]: When Rapunzel attempts to extort him into taking her to see the floating lights, he tries to play on her emotions to get her to change her mind and return home. He knows how to manipulate her, and plays on her fear and her guilt in order to get her to return to her tower. Flynn pretends to be encouraging her to rebel, but he’s really trying to make her feel even worse about leaving Mother Gothel by going on and on about how Rapunzel will be “breaking her heart.” When that doesn’t work, he decides to take Rapunzel to an establishment filled with customers who are a bit rough around the edges. Flynn cares about what others think of him and invents a false identity in order to appear more impressive than he actually is (“A fake reputation is all a man has.”)

Inferior Introverted Intuition [Ni]: Flynn wants to be rich and have adventures and his entire life has been in pursuit of these two desires. Although he knows that he wants to have a lot of money and visualizes himself living in a castle, he doesn’t exactly have a solid plan to get himself there. Instead, he just steals valuable objects in order to fund his dream, but quickly abandons his ambitions in favor of a “new dream” shortly after meeting Rapunzel.

Enneagram: 7w8 3w2 8w7 Sp/Sx

Aladdin (ESTP): Aladdin

Dominant Extroverted Sensing [Se]: Navigating his physical environment is a piece of cake for Aladdin. He’s aware of his surroundings and uses them to escape the guards who are after him. Aladdin is able to jump out of buildings and land on two pieces of rope, which he skis down. He uses a sheet he finds to disguise himself. He even catches his fallen loaf of bread without looking. When guards are coming at him from both sides, he jumps up, causing them to all crash into each other. He manages to use a carpet he finds as a parachute to jump out of a window and escape once and for all. Aladdin always remains ahead of his adversaries and is great at improvising in the moment. He successfully dodges every obstacle in his environment and uses what’s available to him to sabotage the guards who pursue him. Aladdin readily takes risks, whether it’s jumping off buildings, pole vaulting across them, or facing Jafar with no plan whatsoever. He appreciates the beauty and wonder in the world and seeing what it has to offer. He enjoys experiencing all that’s out there, and wants to show it all to Jasmine.

Auxiliary Introverted Thinking [Ti]: Aladdin is skilled when it comes to hatching plans on the fly. If one scheme doesn’t work, he simply tries something else. He’s a fast thinker and can usually spot the best solution to a problem with ease. Aladdin often utilizes his quick mind in his sense of humor. He’s able to trick the Genie into helping him without actually using a wish. When he notices that Jasmine has been caught stealing, he immediately jumps in to help by making up a story about her being his “crazy” sister to keep her from getting in trouble. Aladdin is able to deduce that Jafar is hypnotizing the sultan with his cobra staff, and he leaps into action (Se) by breaking it, thereby putting an end to Jafar’s control over him. Aladdin’s logic is internal and he has his own ideas about what’s rational. Aladdin also has a knack for finding loopholes and ways around the rules. He can’t wish for love, but he can wish to become a prince so he can marry the princess!

Tertiary Extroverted Feeling [Fe]: Although he survives by stealing food, he only does it because he needs to eat to live. Aladdin cares very much about other people, and makes sacrifices for others – even perfect strangers. After everything he went through to steal it and to evade the guards afterwards, Aladdin notices two children digging through the trash for food, and decides to give his half of the loaf to them. When he notices one of Princess Jasmine’s potential suitors getting ready to whip the same kids, Aladdin steps in and stands up for them. He’s good at understanding other people and uses his insights to get what he wants (manipulating Jafar into using his final wish to become a genie). Aladdin cares about what other people think of him and it bothers him that other people only view him as a “street rat.” When trying to make a decision, Aladdin wants to hear other people’s opinions. Genie, what would you wish for? Aladdin often struggles with morality. He thinks he needs to be someone else to win the heart of the princess, and often chooses to lie instead of just being himself. He nearly goes back on his promise to free the Genie because without the Genie, he’s just Aladdin.

Inferior Introverted Intuition [Ni]: Considering the consequences of his actions isn’t Aladdin’s strong suit. Aladdin continues to lie, even though doing so gets him into trouble. He also steals, knowing that the guards will chase and try to capture him. Aladdin believes that one day, things will change for him. He visualizes himself becoming rich, living in the palace, and never having any problems in his life – though he doesn’t actually have a plan to make that happen. He just believes it will become a reality.

Enneagram: 7w6 3w2 8w9 Sx/Sp


Aladdin: Gotta keep…one jump ahead of the breadline
One swing ahead of the sword
I steal only what I can’t afford
That’s everything!

Aladdin: Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat
Tell you all about it when I got the time!

Aladdin: One jump ahead of the slowpokes
One skip ahead of my doom
Next time gonna use a nom de plume.
One jump ahead of the hitmen
One hit ahead of the flock
I think I’ll take a stroll around the block.

Aladdin: One jump ahead of the hoofbeats!
One hop ahead of the hump!
One trick ahead of disaster
They’re quick, but I’m much faster

Aladdin: Here goes, better throw my hand in
Wish me happy landin’
All I gotta do is jump!

Aladdin: Riffraff, street rat.
I don’t buy that.
If only they’d look closer
Would they see a poor boy? No siree.
They’d find out, there’s so much more to me.

Aladdin: Someday, Abu, things are gonna change. We’ll be rich, live in a palace, and never have any problems at all.

Proprietor: You’d better be able to pay for that.
Jasmine: Pay?
Proprietor: No one steals from my cart!
Jasmine: Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I don’t have any money.
Proprietor: Thief!
Jasmine: Please, if you let me go to the palace, I can get some from the Sultan.
Proprietor: Do you know what the penalty is for stealing?
[He takes her hand and pins it down on the table, intending to chop it off]
Jasmine: No, no, please!
[The sword drops, but his hand is stopped by Aladdin]
Aladdin: Thank you, kind sir. I’m so glad you’ve found her. I’ve been looking all over for you.
Jasmine: [whispering] What are you doing?
Aladdin: Just play along.
Proprietor: You know this girl?
Aladdin: Sadly, yes. She is my sister. She’s a little crazy.
Proprietor: She said she knows the Sultan!
Aladdin: She thinks the monkey is the Sultan.
[Abu is picking a pocket. He hears this and straightens up. Jasmine, playing along, kneels down and bows to Abu]
Jasmine: Oh, wise Sultan. How may I serve you?
Abu: Well, blah blah blah blah.
Aladdin: Tragic, isn’t it? [He leans forward, picking up another apple from the cart with his foot] But, no harm done. [He walks over to Jasmine] Now come along, sis. Time to see the doctor.
Jasmine: [to a camel standing nearby] Oh, hello, Doctor. How are you?
Aladdin: No, no, no. Not that one.

Jasmine: I want to thank you for stopping that man.
Aladdin: Uh, forget it. [He grabs a pole] So, uh, this is your first time in the marketplace, huh? [He pole vaults to the next building, leaving Jasmine behind]
Jasmine: Is it that obvious?
Aladdin: Well, you do kinda stand out. I mean, uh, you don’t seem to know how dangerous Agrabah can be. [He lays a plank between the buildings for her to walk over, but as he is leaned down, she vaults over his head. He looks back in surprise. She tosses the pole to him.]
Jasmine: I’m a fast learner.
Aladdin: Right. C’mon, this way.

Aladdin: Ah, provisos? You mean limitations? On wishes? Some all powerful genie – can’t even bring people back from the dead. I don’t know, Abu – he probably can’t even get us out of this cave. Looks like we’re gonna have to find a way out of here-
[They start to leave, but a big blue foot stomps down in front of them]
Genie: Excuse me? Are you lookin’ at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up, did you bring me here? And all of a sudden, you’re walkin’ out on me? I don’t think so, not right now. You’re gettin’ your wishes, so siddown!

Genie: Thank you for choosing Magic Carpent for all your travel needs. Don’t stand until the rug has come to a complete stop. Thank you. Good bye, good bye! Thank you! Good bye! Well, now. How about that, Mr. doubting Mustafa?
Aladdin: Oh, you sure showed me. Now about my three wishes-
Genie: Dost mine ears deceive me? Three? You are down by ONE, boy!
Aladdin: Ah, no – I never actually wished to get out of the cave. You did that on your own.
Genie: Well don’t I just feel sheepish? All right, you baaaad boy, but no more freebies.
Aladdin: Fair deal. So, three wishes. I want them to be good. What would you wish for?
Genie: Me? No one’s ever asked me that before. Well, in my case, ah forget it.
Aladdin: What? No, tell me.
Genie: Freedom.
Aladdin: You’re a prisoner?
Genie: It’s all part-and-parcel, the whole genie gig. Phenomenal cosmic powers! Itty bitty living space.
Aladdin: Genie, that’s terrible.
Genie: But, oh – to be free. Not have to go “Poof! What do you need? Poof! What do you need? Poof! What do you need? To be my own master, such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world! But what am I talking about, here? Let’s get real here. It’s not gonna happen. Genie, wake up and smell the hummus.
Aladdin: Why not?
Genie: Theo only way I get outta this is if my master wishes me out. So you can guess how often that’s happened.
Aladdin: I’ll do it. I’ll set you free.
Genie: [Head turns into Pinocchio’s with a long nose] Uh-huh, right. Whoop!
Aladdin: No, really. I promise. [He pushes the nose back in and Genie’s head returns to normal] After I make my first two wishes, I’ll use my third wish to set you free. [He holds out his hand]
Genie: Well, here’s hopin’. [Shakes Aladdin’s hand] Okay! Let’s make some magic! [Turns into a magician.] So how ’bout it. What is it you want most?
Aladdin: Well, there’s this girl–
Genie: Eehhh! [Like a buzzer, and Genie’s chest shows a heart with a cross through it.] Wrong! I can’t make anybody fall in love, remember?
Aladdin: Oh, but Genie. She’s smart and fun and…
Genie: Pretty?
Aladdin: Beautiful. She’s got these eyes that just… and this hair, wow… and her smile.
Genie: [Sitting in a Parisian cafe with Abu and Carpet.] Ami. C’est l’amour.
Aladdin: But she’s the princess. To even have a chance, I’d have to be a – hey, can you make me a prince?

Genie: Tell her the… TRUTH!!!
Aladdin: No way! If Jasmine found out I was really some crummy street rat… she’d laugh at me.
Genie: A woman appreciates a man who can make her laugh! Al, all joking aside, you really oughtta be yourself.
Aladdin: Hey, that’s the last thing I want to be. Okay, I’m gonna go see her. I gotta be smooth, cool, confident. How do I look?
Genie: Like a prince.

Aladdin: I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering splendid
Tell me, princess, now when did
You last let your heart decide!

I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over sideways and under
On a magic carpet ride

A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we’re only dreaming

Jasmine: A whole new world!
Aladdin: Don’t you dare close your eyes
Jasmine: An hundred thousand things to see
Aladdin: Hold your breath–it gets better!
Jasmine: I’m like a shooting star,
I’ve come so far
I can’t go back to where I used to be!

Aladdin: A whole new world!
Jasmine: Every turn a surprise
Aladdin: With new horizons to pursue
Jasmine: Every moment, red-letter

Aladdin: A thrilling chase
Jasmine: A wondrous place
Both: For you and me!

Jasmine: You are the boy from the market! I knew it. Why did you lie to me?
Aladdin: Jasmine, I’m sorry.
Jasmine: Did you think I was stupid?
Aladdin: No!
Jasmine: That I wouldn’t figure it out?
Aladdin: No. I mean, I hoped you wouldn’t. No, that’s not what I meant.
Jasmine: Who are you? Tell me the truth!
Aladdin: The truth? The truth… the truth is… I sometimes dress as a commoner to escape the pressures of palace life. But I really am a prince!
Jasmine: Why didn’t you just tell me?
Aladdin: Well, you know, um… royalty going out into the city in disguise, it sounds a little strange, don’t you think?
Jasmine: Not that strange.

Aladdin: Tell them the truth, Jafar! You tried to have me killed.
Jafar: What? Ridiculous nonsense, your highness. He is obviously lying. [He brings the staff close to the Sultan’s face.]
Sultan: Obviously… lying.
[Aladdin sees the staff with its glowing eyes.]
Jasmine: Father, what’s wrong with you?
Aladdin: I know what’s wrong!
[Aladdin grabs the staff and smashes it on the floor. Jafar flinches and the spell is broken for good.]
Sultan: Oh, oh, oh my!
Aladdin: Your highness, Jafar’s been controlling you with this!

Genie: Huzzah! Hail the conquering hero! [Turns into a one-man band. He sees Aladdin walk away with his head hung. He stops, scratches his head, comes up with an idea, then zooms over to Aladdin. He holds up his hands like a director scoping a picture and we look through them.] Aladdin, you’ve just won
the heart of the princess. What are you gonna do next? [Aladdin looks at him, then walks away in sadness to the bed, where he falls on it and sighs. Genie again is confused, then goes to him and pulls out a script labeled “Aladdin.”] Psst, your line is “I’m going to free the genie.” Anytime.
Aladdin: Genie… I can’t.
Genie: Sure you can. You just go “Genie, I wish you free.” [He grabs Aladdin’s head and uses him as a mock ventriloquist’s dummy. Aladdin pulls away.]
Aladdin: I’m serious. Look, I’m sorry – I really am. But they want to make me sultan – no! They want to make Prince Ali sultan. Without you, I’m just Aladdin.
Genie: Al, you won!
Aladdin: Because of you! The only reason anyone thinks I’m anything is because of you. What if they find out I’m not really a prince? What if Jasmine finds out? I’ll lose her. Genie, I can’t keep this up on my own. I can’t wish you free.
Genie: Hey, I understand. After all, you’ve lied to everyone else. Hey, I was beginning to feel left out. Now, if you’ll excuse me, master.

Genie: Al, I can’t help you – I work for senor psychopath now.
Aladdin: Hey, I’m a street rat, remember? I’ll improvise.

Jafar: Without the genie, boy, you’re nothing!
Aladdin: The genie! The genie! The genie has more power than you’ll ever have!
Jafar: What!
Aladdin: He gave you your power, he can take it away!
Genie: Al, what are you doing? Why are you bringing me into this?
Aladdin: Face it, Jafar – you’re still just second best!
Jafar: You’re right! His power does exceed my own! But not for long!
Genie: The boy is crazy. He’s a little punch drunk. One too many hits with the snake.
Jafar: Slave, I make my third wish! I wish to be an all powerful genie!
Genie: [reluctantly] All right, your wish is my command. Way to go, Al.

Jafar: Yes! Yes! The power! The absolute power!
Jasmine: What have you done?
Aladdin: Trust me!
[A black lamp appears at Jafar’s base. Jafar is busy conjuring.]
Jafar: The universe is mine to command, to control!
Aladdin: Not so fast, Jafar! Aren’t you forgetting something?
[Jafar looks down questioningly] You wanted to be a genie, you got it! And everything that goes with it! [Shackles appear on Jafar’s wrists.]
Jafar: No! No!
Iago: I’m gettin’ out of here! Come on, you’re the genie, I don’t want-
[Iago tries to fly away, but is sucked in with Jafar.]
Aladdin: Phenomenal cosmic powers! Itty bitty living space.
Genie: Al, you little genius, you!

August Booth/Pinocchio (Once Upon a Time): ENTP

Dominant Extroverted Intuition [Ne]: “I mean, when I start writing, I usually have one idea. And then, in the middle, I may get another idea, and things are different.” August is completely comfortable with changes in perspective. He doesn’t mind the unknown, and sees possibilities, allowing him to effortlessly generates ideas. He tells Henry that he hates when he gets a good idea that slips away from him. August thinks it’s important to have an open mind, and spends a great deal of time trying to get Emma to believe in magic. While in Storybrooke, he remains focused on the big picture and uses his creative way of thinking to get Emma to open herself up to the truth. While August is focused on steering Emma towards her destiny, he does give in to the temptations of life in the Land Without Magic. August likes to travel the world and see new things. He spent an entire year, and implies that once he got bored with his surroundings, he would simply hop on his motorcycle and move on to the next place. August is good at improvising in the moment (coming up with an excuse for snooping around Mr. Gold’s).

Auxiliary Introverted Thinking [Ti]: When August has a mission, he keeps his plans to himself, rarely discussing them aloud. Even though Henry is already a believer, August still opts against revealing himself. Instead, he keeps Henry in the dark, recruiting him for schemes while telling him as little as possible. August is comfortable with modifying his plans when he’s lead to a dead end. August’s logic is internal – he can see beyond “facts” and, even though his life depends on getting Emma to believe, he understands that she needs to discover the truth in her own way. He gets that most people are only able to see whatever is right in front of them, but August’s logical understanding is much more subjective. August enjoys working with his hands and fixing things and seems to comprehend how things work. He mends his bike, installs new locks for Mary Margaret, and even tries to regain the bond he once had with Geppetto by working with Marco (Ti-Fe). August is quick to come to rational conclusions about things. Emma can’t see that his leg is made of wood because she doesn’t want to see it. Her denial is so strong that she’s unable to see what’s right in front of her.

Tertiary Extroverted Feeling [Fe]: Getting Emma to believe is essential for August’s continued survival. Sure, he could just say, “Look, it’s all true. The Enchanted Forest is real. I’m Pinocchio, and I’ll turn into wood if you don’t start believing soon!” But he doesn’t. He understands that different people need to find the truth in their own way. He can’t force Emma to believe. He has to nudge her in a personalized way. August is good at playing on people’s emotions, allowing him to easily use manipulation as a tactic in his schemes. He poses as Mr. Gold’s long lost son in order to get the dagger from him. Although he needs Emma to believe for his own selfish reasons, he never uses that to convince her. Instead, he focuses on how important she is to everyone in town. August is quick to pick up on other people’s emotions – such as when he sees Henry in Granny’s and immediately concludes that he’s upset about Mary Margaret’s arrest. He’s able to relate to him because of their shared goal of getting Emma to believe and uses Henry in his plans. August also uses Neal’s love for Emma to persuade him to let her go so, so she can go on to fulfill her destiny.

Inferior Introverted Sensing [Si]: Emma’s need for concrete evidence and proof is one of August’s biggest hurdles. He knows that Henry relies on information he gets from his book, so August steals it and adds the story of Pinocchio to it to push them in the right direction. He relates to people by discussing his own, similar experiences. Emma’s inability to find evidence to clear Mary Margaret is “a case of writer’s block,” and gives her advice based on his way of remedying it. He tells her that he rereads what he’s already written as opposed to “plowing ahead blindly.” He advises her to go back to the beginning with the perspective that she has now to see if she may find something she previously missed (Ne-Si). August has difficulty learning from his mistakes and tends to repeat the patterns of behavior that have gotten him into trouble in the past. August seems to have an appreciation for the old-fashioned, choosing a typewriter instead of more modern technology for his writing. Instead of just telling Emma that he was the boy who found her when she was an infant, he takes her to the place where it all happened, presumably so she can feel connected to her past, and describes the blanket she was wrapped in in order to give his story merit. August has a sentimental streak, and is very reluctant to part with the pendant that Geppetto used to give him life – even when he’s told it’s the only way to save himself from turning to wood.

Note: I did consider ESTP for August, but my final decision is based on how he goes about getting Emma to believe. He doesn’t try to provide her with sensory evidence. Instead, he tries to get her to open her mind. I don’t think that most ESTPs would talk about “going on faith”/”taking a leap of faith.” He admonishes Emma for needing “evidence for everything.” From my perspective, he’s more of a thought/idea person than a sensory person. He’s a bit more subdued than the stereotypical ENTP.

Enneagram: 7w6 9w8 4w5 Sx/Sp


August: Whatcha working on?
Henry: Uh, no time to talk. I got to write it all down before I forget.
August: Yeah, I hate it when great ideas slip away from me.
Henry: They’re not my ideas. They’re stories from a book that I lost.
August: Must be a hell of a book. What’s it about?
Henry: Stuff.
August: Sounds exciting.
Henry: You seem awfully interested in me and my book.
August: No, I’m just being neighborly.
Henry: What are you doing in Storybrooke?
August: I’m a writer.
Henry: You can write anywhere. What are you really doing here?
August: Stuff. Good luck with the stories.

Emma: You going to come in? I thought you wanted that drink.
August: I do, but I didn’t say here. Hop on.
Emma: You want me to get on the back of that bike?
August: That’s what ‘hop on’ means.
Emma: How about if we go somewhere, I drive?
August: How about you stop having to control everything and take a leap of faith? You owe me a drink. Hop on. I know a good watering hole.
Granny: If you don’t, I will.

well. There’s even a legend. They say that the water from the well is fed by an underground lake, and that lake has magical properties.
Emma: Magic? You sound like Henry.
August: Smart kid. So, this legend. It says that if you drink the water from the well, something lost will be returned to you.
Emma: You know an awful lot about this town for being a stranger.
August: And you know very little for being the Sheriff.
Emma: How do you know all this? You’ve been here before?
August: I know all of this for one very simple reason – I read the plaque.
Emma: You actually believe that?
August: I’m a writer. I have to have an open mind.
Emma: Yeah, but magic?
August: Water is a very powerful thing. Cultures as old as time have worshipped it. It flows throughout all lands, connecting the entire world. If anything had mystical properties – if anything had magic – well, I’d say it’d be water.
Emma: That’s asking a lot to believe on faith.
August: If you need evidence for everything, Emma, you’re going to find yourself stuck in one place for a long time.
Emma: Maybe. Or, maybe I’ll just find the truth before anyone else.
[He hands her one of the cups.]
August: Well, Miss Skeptic, there’s one thing I can tell you for sure that requires no leap of faith, and I know you’ll agree with me.
Emma: What’s that?
August: It’s good water.

Ruby: You can’t be serious. A whole year without a roof over your head?
August: Well, you get used to it. Plus, I had the motorcycle. So, if I didn’t like a place after a while…
[Granny calls for Ruby, but Ruby ignores her.]
Granny: Ruby?
Ruby: I’ve never even been out of Storybrooke. What was your favourite place?
August: Nepal. Best people. They have these prayer temples carved into mountains that are overrun with lemurs.
Ruby: What’s a lemur?
Granny: Ruby!
Ruby: Just give me a sec!
August: They’re little animals. And they have these eyes that reflect light. So, at night, it looks like they glow.

August: I don’t think that hot chocolate’s going to drink itself. You’re upset about your teacher, aren’t ya?
Henry: She didn’t do it. Why can’t anyone see that?
August: Because most people just see what’s right in front of them. And I don’t think you’re going to find the answers you want at the bottom of that mug.
Henry: Then where?
August: That a book in your bag? You know I’m a writer. So, I’m partial to finding my answers in the literary form.
Henry: It’s just a book.
August: Is it?
Henry: Yeah.
August: I think we both know that that’s not the case. Can I get a water, please?
Henry: What do you know about it?
August: I know it’s a book of stories.
Henry: Aren’t all books?
August: Stories…that really happened.
Henry: You think my book is real?
August: As real as I am.
Henry: How do you know?
August: Well, let’s just say that, uh, I’m a believer. And I want to help others see the light. That, my friend, is why I’m here.
Henry: But I already believe.
August: Oh, I’m not here for you, buddy. I’m here for Emma.
Henry: So, you want to get her to believe? Why don’t you just tell her?
August: Well, there are some people – like you and me – we can go on faith. But others – like Emma – they need proof.
Henry: Last time I tried to find proof, I got trapped in a sinkhole.
August: There are less dangerous places to look.
[August taps Henry’s book.]

August: What you doing?
Emma: Grasping at straws.
August: Still trying to find a way to prove your friend’s been framed?
Emma: Every time I go down a path I think leads somewhere, it ends up being a dead end. I used to think I had these great instincts… Superpower. Ah, I don’t know.
August: It sounds like you got a case of writer’s block. Only without the whole writing part.
Emma: Maybe.
August: You know, when I get struck by a block, I usually reread what I’ve done, rather than plow ahead blindly. Sometimes, I find there’ll be a little nugget of inspiration left behind.
Emma: You mean start over?
August: I mean, when I start writing, I usually have one idea. And then, in the middle, I may get another idea, and things are different.
Emma: So, your perspective changes.
August: Exactly. When you started this investigation, what was it about?
Emma: A missing person. Then, it became a murder, and then a cover-up.
August: If you knew that then, maybe you would have approached things differently. Where you going?
Emma: Scene of the crime.
August: I’ll drive.
(August follows her.)
Emma: No, I’m fine.
August: No, you’re not. You haven’t slept in days. And, let’s be honest – it was my idea.

Emma: Hey. I’m sorry.
August: For what?
Emma: For doubting you. I made a mistake.
[She hands him a bag containing the bug from the vase.]
August: What’s that?
Emma: Evidence. Evidence that proves that I’ve been trusting all the wrong people. I should have listened to you. This bug was from Sidney.
August: The newspaper guy?
Emma: I should’ve seen it.
August: Well, don’t beat yourself up about it, Emma. Sometimes, it’s hard to see what’s right in front of us, but I knew you would.
Emma: I’m trying.

August: It’s almost nine. You all set? You know what to do?
Henry: Operation Cobra is always ready. I just…
August: You just what?
Henry: I don’t understand what this has to do with getting Emma to believe.
August: Sometimes, other priorities assert themselves. Can you handle a little improvisation?
Henry: Yeah. Can you?
August: We’re a go.

Henry: How bad was it?
August: Getting caught in his office? Not bad. I played it off.
Henry: What were you looking for? Did you find it?
August: Nope. But I have a feeling it’s going to find me.

Mr. Gold: Oh, my boy. My beautiful boy. Can you truly, truly forgive me?
August: I forgive you, Papa.
Mr. Gold: You were looking for the knife.
August: I thought that if you still had it, it would mean that you hadn’t changed.
Mr. Gold: Well, let’s go and find it and see.
[The two of them go to a spot in the woods. August begins digging with a shovel.]
Mr. Gold: I buried it here shortly after Emma came to town. Things were changing. Didn’t want to take the chance of Regina finding it.
August: Of course.
Mr. Gold: It should be right about here, son. Here. Look, look.
[Mr. Gold picks up the dagger out of the hole, which is wrapped in a cloth. He unwraps the dagger and hands it to August.]
Mr. Gold: I want you to take it. Destroy it, the way I know you always wanted to. I found you, and I don’t need it anymore. I chose it once. Now, I choose you.
[August takes the dagger and examines it.]
August: It’s remarkable.
[August holds up the dagger and points it at Mr. Gold.]
August: By the power of the darkness, I command thee… Dark One.
Mr. Gold: You’re trying to control me?
August: I command thee, Dark One!
Mr. Gold: You’re not my son. You’re not Baelfire.
August: Papa, why would you say that? I’m just trying to use your power to help us.
Mr. Gold: Enough! It’s over, Booth. Or whoever you are. My son would never try to use me. And he would know, that this knife cannot harness any magic in this world, because there is no magic in this world. That’s why he chose this place. He didn’t want me…
[Mr. Gold grabs the dagger from August.]
Mr. Gold: Dabbling.
August: So, why bury a useless knife?
Mr. Gold: Oh, I wouldn’t say it was useless. It still cuts through flesh rather nicely. It’s about time you start answering some questions, sunshine. Why the theatrics? Why didn’t you just come to me?
August: I needed you to work for it. I needed you to want it so bad, you would ignore what your eyes were seeing. Do I even look like him at all?
Mr. Gold: How do you know about this knife?
August: I hear things.
[Mr. Gold points the dagger at August, until he ends up backed up against a tree.]
Mr. Gold: No one here knows about this knife.
August: No one here remembers.
Mr. Gold: And, yet, you do. You’re from there, aren’t you? From my world.
August: The fact that you’re asking the question means you know the answer.
Mr. Gold: Well, now that that’s settled…
[Mr. Gold lunges at August, pinning him against the tree behind him. He holds the dagger to his throat.]
Mr. Gold: How about my other question? Who told you about me and the knife?
August: A little fairy.
Mr. Gold: Why did you want it? If you know who I am, then you know who I am. The chances of you surviving this little encounter are pretty slim. So, why take the risk?
August: Because I’ll die anyway.
Mr. Gold: What?
August: I’m sick. I’m sick, and I need magic. I was going to get the saviour to believe. But that woman… I don’t think I’m going to make it long enough to see that happen.
[Mr. Gold removes the dagger from August’s throat.]
Mr. Gold: She trusts you – it might be enough. Try again.
August: You’re going to let me live?
Mr. Gold: You’re going to die either way. This way, at least I might get something out of it.

August: Emma, wait up.
Emma: You heard the kid – Operation Cobra calls.
August: I didn’t think you believed any of that.
Emma: Oh, I don’t. But, sometimes, it’s the only way to get through to Henry.
August: You know, a custody battle against Regina isn’t going to accomplish anything. You need to look at the big picture. That’s the only way you’re going to understand what you’re up against. That’s the only way you’ll know how to beat Regina.
Emma: Okay, new guy. How’s that?
August: Take the day off. Come with me, and I’ll show you.
Emma: And where exactly would we be going on this magical mystery tour?
August: If I told you, you would never come. Oh, come on. Take a leap of faith. You come with me, and I promise you – you’ll find exactly what you’re looking for.

August: It’s not me slowing us down. It’s her. All she can think about right now is getting custody of her kid.
Mr. Gold: Sounds like Sheriff Swan needs a course correction.
August: She’s coming to you for legal advice.
Mr. Gold: And you want me to steer her toward you?
August: I can get her there. To believing. Trust me.

August: You look like you might be shorthanded.
Marco: I get by.
August: How would you feel about… Taking on an assistant?
Marco: I can’t pay you.
August: That’s okay. I just feel like fixing things.

Veronica Lodge (Riverdale): ESFP

Dominant Extroverted Sensing [Se]: When Veronica moves from New York to Riverdale, she adapts to her new environment very quickly. She has no qualms about immersing herself in an unfamiliar town. She walks right up to people she doesn’t know and casually strikes a conversation. Veronica enjoys sensory pleasures and activities. She’s athletic, a gifted dancer, a skilled singer, and she cares very much about her physical appearance, as she spends a lot of time grooming and pampering herself. She’s very fashionable and appreciates the finer things in life. On Veronica’s first day at Riverdale, she immediately wants to know about the social scene and whether Riverdale has any nightclubs. She also quickly points out the school’s unappealing, dated decor. Veronica has a tendency to be a little impulsive. She goes into the closet with Archie to stop Cheryl from going in with him, but once she’s in there, she gets caught up in the moment and kisses him, knowing how Betty feels about him. She doesn’t hesitate to stand up to gang members. Veronica enjoys absorbing all that society has to offer, which gives her an arsenal of pop culture references to whip out at any given moment. When Veronica apologizes, she usually makes up for her mistakes with physical things (flowers, cupcakes, a spa day). Veronica looks for opportunities in her environment and seizes them – when Archie no longer needs Veronica for their duet because Valerie left the Pussycats, Veronica is offended at just being his backup choice (though, she’s more upset about witnessing their parents kiss), she immediately finds Josie and takes Valerie’s old spot. Veronica enjoyed her status in New York. She loved her Central Park views, eating at the very best restaurants, and buying designer clothing and accessories. She revels in scoring a date with one of the most popular and attractive guys in school. Veronica has no problem being the center of attention and is disappointed when her status as the new girl doesn’t inspire the intrigue in her classmates that she had expected. Veronica loves going out, socializing, living in the moment, and attending parties (“any excuse to wear a cute party dress”).

Auxiliary Introverted Feeling [Fi]: Veronica has a strong sense of right and wrong, which is the main reason she clashes with her mother. What Hiram is doing from jail is wrong. Hiring the Serpents to decrease the value of the land that the Twilight Drive-In is on is not okay. He’s ruining people’s lives! Ethel’s father tried to kill himself because of what her father did. She wants to remain loyal to her father, but she can’t because he is directly responsible for the suffering of so many people. When Veronica wants to make amends, or wants to relate to others, she usually does something (giving Betty gifts, inviting Ethel to hang out). Even though she knows it will hurt Betty, Veronica decides that she needs to investigate FP because she needs to know the truth about her father – whatever the truth is. Betty might feel a sense of loyalty to the Jones family, but Veronica doesn’t. She agrees to search FP’s trailer for herself. It’s something she has to do. She’s not helping to find out who killed Jason, or to help catch a killer and expose the truth to the world. She’s doing it because she wants to know what kind of man her father really is. She has no desire to work with Betty until she starts to become suspicious of her father. When Archie decides to do the duet with Valerie instead of her, Veronica lashes out about his lack of integrity and admonishes him for not being loyal. When Veronica’s upset, she doesn’t wallow in her grief – she takes action. Veronica refuses to give the contract to Fred after her mother requests that she sign it, and is furious when she discovers that Hermione forged her signature because everything was taken from her when her father went to jail – everything, except, as Hermione said, her name. And when Hermione forged her signature, that was taken from her, too. Veronica tries to make up for the person she used to be by showing kindness and empathy to the people she meets at Riverdale High because she once bullied someone so badly that they had to transfer schools. Veronica doesn’t want to be that person anymore. She wants to be a better version of herself, so she reaches out to both Ethel and Cheryl (who isn’t always deserving of Veronica’s compassion). Veronica even tells the Muggs family who she is and tries to apologize for her father’s actions. Veronica is disgusted with her mother when she implies that Veronica should use her budding relationship with Archie to get him to talk to his father about accepting Hiram and Hermione’s offer to buy Fred out.

Tertiary Extroverted Thinking [Te]: “I don’t follow rules, I make them, and when necessary, I break them.” Veronica does what she feels needs to be done in any situation and is quick to take action. When Chuck gives her a “Sticky Maple,” Veronica immediately decides to get revenge. Veronica is willing to do whatever it takes to achieve her goals. She wants to know if her father was involved in Jason’s death, so she recruits Archie to help her break into FP’s trailer to search for evidence. She reads through Hiram’s files in order to figure out what’s going on between her family and the Blossoms. When she notices that there were large payments coming to Lodge Industries from Blossom Maple Farms and that these payments stopped when her father was incarcerated, the logical conclusion she comes to is that Clifford Blossom could’ve been behind Hiram’s arrest in an attempt to get out of making those monthly payments. She immediately wants to act on this information and tell her father’s lawyers, but Hermione considers it from all angles, telling Veronica that it could implicate Hiram in Jason’s murder and make things worse. Even though she cares about other people’s feelings, Veronica doesn’t refrain from telling it like it is and speaking harsh truths that other people doesn’t necessarily want to hear. She tells Betty that before she came, she was pining after Archie, but too afraid to tell him how she felt. Veronica is very practical and is typically able to come up with logical solutions and answers. When Betty and Archie can’t find Jughead in the middle of the night, it’s Veronica who instantly knows that he must be at Pop’s (the only place in Riverdale that’s open 24/7).

Inferior Introverted Intuition [Ni]: Sometimes, Veronica behaves recklessly because she doesn’t fully consider the consequences of her actions in the heat of the moment. She has a strong concept of symbolism, and after finding out that Ethel’s dad attempted to kill himself because of what Veronica’s father did, Veronica breaks down and rips the pearl necklace from her neck (a gift from her father), signifying the end of her allegiance to her father. When Veronica tries to seek forgiveness from Betty after kissing Archie, she presents her with yellow flowers because yellow represents friendship. Veronica doesn’t often think of the future, but she does occasionally visualize the way she wants things to be. She felt that being Betty’s best friend was her fate, and that she sabotaged her destiny by kissing Archie. When she sees her mother kissing Fred, she wonders what will happen when her father is eventually released from prison. Veronica is good with metaphors and often utilizes them in conversation. Veronica and Hermione are “like a cobra and a mongoose dancing.” She relates to Ethel, who can’t describe what she’s going through at home with her parents, but Veronica totally gets it, and describes it by saying it’s “like you’re trapped in a slow-motion car crash.” Veronica spends a lot of time working towards her goal of being a better person than she was in New York. However, she sometimes forgets her objective and makes shortsighted choices that ultimately set her back in her quest for self-improvement.

Enneagram: 7w8 8w7 3w4 Sx/So


Veronica: I’m filled with dread.
Archie: Why is that?
Veronica: Are you familiar with the works of Truman Capote? I’m Breakfast at Tiffany’s, but this place is strictly In Cold Blood.

Betty: So, I usually start off my tours with a little history and context. Riverdale High first opened its doors in 1941 and-
Veronica: And hasn’t been redecorated since, apparently. Honestly, I feel like I’m wandering through the lost epilogue of Our Town.
Betty: Uh-huh.
Veronica: So what’s the social scene like here? Any night clubs?
Kevin: A strip club called the Ho Zone and a tragic gay bar called Innuendo. Friday nights, football games and then tailgate parties at the Mallmart parking lot. Saturday night is movie night, regardless of what’s playing at the Bijou, and you better get there early, because we don’t have reserved seating in Riverdale. And Sunday nights… Thank God for HBO.
Betty: Veronica Lodge, Kevin Keller. Veronica’s new here. Kevin is-
Veronica: Gay, thank God. Let’s be best friends.
Kevin: Is it true what they say about your dad?
Veronica: That he’s the devil incarnate? I stand by my father. Does everyone here know? Wonderful. Ten minutes in and I’m already the Blue Jasmine of Riverdale High.

Archie: So how’s your first day going? Good?
Veronica: Not to be a complete narcissist, but I thought people would be more-
Kevin: Obsessed with you? Any other year, you’d be trending number one, for sure. This year, though, it’s all about Cheryl trying to win the Best Supporting Psycho Oscar for her role as Riverdale High’s bereaved Red Widow.

Veronica: Guys, can’t we just liberate ourselves from the tired dichotomy of jock/artist? Can’t we, in this post James Franco world, be all things at once?

Kevin: “Dear Betty, please forgive me, XOXO, V.” Who the hell is “V”?
Betty: Veronica.
Veronica: Veronica. The yellow is for friendship. I also had Magnolia cupcakes flown in from New York. Because, as my mom likes to say, “There’s no wrong the right cupcake can’t fix.” Also, I’ve booked us for hers-and-hers mani-pedis at Chez Salon. Blowouts, too. I am so, so sorry, Betty. I don’t know what happened to me that night. It was such a basic bitch move. It was like I was possessed by-
Kevin: Madame Satan?
Veronica: The old Veronica. And I will never, ever do anything like that to you again. I swear on my mother’s pearls. Just, can you please give me one more chance?
Betty: Okay.
Veronica: What?
Kevin: What?
Veronica: Really? Awesome. I’ll take it and you won’t regret it.
Betty: Okay.
Veronica: And I’ll bring these to lunch so we can celebrate!

Veronica: I know everyone grieves differently, but Cheryl’s hosting a pep rally to cope with her loss. That’s either brilliant, or psychotic, or both.
Betty: Yeah, well, at least Cheryl’s not putting on an act. Pretending she’s a butterfly when really she’s a wasp.
Veronica: For the record, the only reason I went into that closet with Archie was so that Cheryl wouldn’t.
Betty: Oh, so you did it to protect me?
Veronica: Damn straight.
Betty: Okay, so nothing happened between you and Archie in the closet, then? Yeah, that’s what I thought. You know, Archie and I were fine before you got here.
Veronica: If by “fine”, you mean he was oblivious and you were pining after him in quiet desperation.
Betty: We were friends, at least.
Veronica: You were walking on emotional eggshells around him, scared to tell him the truth.
Betty: Okay, you don’t know me, Veronica.
Veronica: It is not my fault he doesn’t like you. If that’s what you’re thinking. It’s not anyone’s fault. It’s not even stupid Archie’s. It’s just how it is. Most of the time the people we like don’t like us back. Romeo and Juliet are the exception, not the rule.

Veronica: Is, uh, Betty still mad at you?
Archie: We’re back to no texting. What about you?
Veronica: I’m back to being the shallow, toxic, rich bitch who ruins everything in her path. Which is unfortunate, because even though I only just met Betty, it really felt like we were meant to be best friends. Like… Like it was our destiny, and now… It’s like there was this train that was heading to the rest of my life and I just missed it.

Veronica: What the hell is a Sticky Maple?
Kevin: It’s kind of what it sounds like. It’s a Riverdale thing.
Veronica: No, Kevin, it’s a slut-shaming thing. And I’m neither a slut, nor am I going to be shamed by someone named, excuse me, Chuck Clayton. Does he really think he can get away with this? Does he not know who I am? I will cut the brakes on his souped-up phallic symbol.
Betty: Or we can go to Principal Weatherbee.
Veronica: About the coach’s son? Who is captain of the football team, and Riverdale High’s resident golden boy?
Betty: Or I can expose him in the pages of the Blue and Gold. Yeah, I can do that!
Veronica: No. Spoken like a true good girl who always follows the rules. Well, I don’t follow rules, I make them, and when necessary, I break them. You wanna help me get revenge on Chuck, Betty, awesome. But you better be willing to go full dark, no stars. What do you say, in or out?

Kevin: Southside trash.
Veronica: They’ve been doing that since the opening credits.
Kevin: Shh!
Veronia: Hey! You know what happens to a snake when a Louboutin heel steps on it? Shut the hell up, or you’ll find out!
Kevin: I cannot believe you just threatened a gang-banger.
Veronica: I’ve dealt with worse in the East Village. I just hate when people disrespect my cinematic experience.

Hermione: Veronica.
Veronica: What the hell was that? I saw you with that biker guy, that Serpent. And don’t tell me you were just being polite.
Hermione: I was handling some unfinished business for your father.
Veronica: I’m gonna need more than that, Mom. Details, specifics.
Hermione: All right, then. Your father hired the Southside Serpents to help decrease the value of the drive-in’s land so he could purchase it at a cheaper price using an offshore LLC. What you saw was me paying them for a job well done.
Veronica: So Daddy’s the anonymous buyer? And he’s doing this from jail?
Hermione: He has an extremely long reach, your father. And he’s sunk every last penny that we have into this deal.
Veronica: So Dad really is-
Hermione: Dad is a businessman. He saw an opportunity, and he took it. And it was happening anyway. Old Riverdale’s dying. He’s just simply helping it along.
Veronica: But it’s wrong.
Hermione: Wrong? Well, did you like living at the Dakota with a Central Park view? Did you like your personal shopping account at Barneys? How about our family dinners at Jean Georges? Your Hermes?
Veronica: Those were just things, Mom-
Hermione: That was our life, Ronnie, provided to us by your father.

Veronica: Are you gonna leave Dad when he gets out of jail?
Hermione: Honey, why would you ask such a thing?
Veronica: I saw you, Mom. With Fred Andrews in the trailer.
Hermione: Oh, Veronica. Honey, I am so sorry that you did. But I want you to know that we’ve… We’ve never even kissed before. Until today.
Veronica: What about Dad? What happens when he comes home?
Hermione: I’m not sure. I’m so sorry, baby. It just happened, Veronica. And I know that this must be confusing.
Veronica: Yeah, it is.
Hermione: So, what can I do to help?
Veronica: You know what, Mom? There’s actually nothing.

Veronica: Not to be that girl, Archie, but I didn’t get the memo we were adding another voice to the mix.
Archie: Ronnie, hey. Great news! Valerie quit the Pussycats.
Veronica: So, that makes me what, then? Backup?
Archie: No. I mean, you were just doing it as a favor to me, right?
Veronica: You are unbelievable, Archie. You literally have zero loyalty, you ginger Judas!
Archie: Hey, Ronnie. What’s wrong?
Veronica: What’s wrong, Archie, besides the fact that you have no integrity whatsoever, is that your father kissed my mother.
Valerie: Um – Maybe I should leave.
Archie: No, hold on. Hold on. When my dad told me how he felt, it seemed like they were both really into each other.
Veronica: They’re married to other people.
Archie: Hey, my mom and dad are separated and your dad is…
Veronica: My dad is what?
Archie: He’s – He’s incarcerated, right?
Veronica: That is so not the point, Archie!
Archie: Of course not. Of course not. I’m sorry. You’re right. Do you wanna talk about it? We can go somewhere and talk. Or… do you want your part back?
Veronica: Oh, don’t do me any favors, Archie.

Hermione: I know you’re not his biggest fan right now, but I was hoping you would sign it.
Veronica: Why would I need to sign it?
Hermione: When your father was arrested, we made you a legal officer of Lodge Industries. Surprise! And two out of three signatures are needed to award the contract, which your father wants to give to a less than legit outfit.
Veronica: And you want my help giving it to your boyfriend. I was gonna apologize to you. If I sign that, will you stop seeing Fred Andrews?
Hermione: Ronnie, I can’t agree to that.
Veronica: In that case, Mom, I’m sorry, but no. However you’re rationalizing what you’re doing with Archie’s dad, I don’t want any part of it.

Veronica: Honestly, guys, we should just move.

Kevin: So how’s the cold war at home?
Veronica: Ugh. Horrible. Look, I hate fighting with my mom, but until she’s ready to admit and to own, that she forged my name to help her illicit trysting with Fred Andrews, I can’t blink, Kevin. She needs to make the next move.
Kevin: And what if she doesn’t blink?
Veronica: Back in New York, whenever I needed to blow off some steam, or force my mother’s hand, I’d go out on a bender, dancing with my fave celebrity gal-pal, my best gay, and some dim-witted, sexy, disposable arm-candy. That’s Josie, you.
Kevin: Honored.
Veronica: And as for my arm-candy – He’ll do.

Betty: But if she can’t live at home, then I don’t know, I can rent her an apartment.
Veronica: Let me talk to my mom.
Betty:No, you have your own stuff you’re dealing with right now, V.
Veronica: Betty, Polly needs doctors, she needs prenatal vitamins…

Hermione: What do you want?
Veronica: For you to admit what you did.
Hermione: Fine. I kissed Fred Andrews.
Veronica: No, Mom, the other thing. It involves you forging my signature to get Fred Andrews that stupid contract to build on Dad’s land.
Hermione: Veronica, I asked you to sign that-
Veronica: You broke the law, Mom, and you used me to do it. When Daddy finds out, he’s gonna think I betrayed him.
Hermione: He won’t, I will tell him.
Veronica: Really? When? Right now? Because I’ll cancel my plans for that.
Hermione: You know it doesn’t work that way.
Veronica: In that case, I’ll talk to you later, my friends are waiting.
Hermione: Ronnie, do not go out that door. Veronica!

Josie: Mmm-mmm, girl. You better hydrate. You practically left your body on the dance floor.
Veronica: I wish, Josie. I wish I could leave my body sometimes. Leave Riverdale, leave everything.
Kevin: Is any of this helping? Going out, going Black Swan, any of it? Veronica: When my dad got arrested, the police, the lawyers, the judge, the courts, they took everything from us. Our houses, our cars, our club memberships, our yacht, even, I’m not kidding, the clothes off our backs. Anyway, my mom sat me down on the edge of my canopy bed and she told me not to cry. Because there was one thing in this world that no one could ever take from me. Not ever.
Reggie: Your trust fund?
Veronica: My name, Reggie. Which, after telling me no one would ever take it, that is exactly what she did. Like it meant nothing. It was nothing. Like I was nothing.

Veronica: This is how we Lodge women roll. We feint, we parry, we approach, we retreat. We’re like a cobra and a mongoose dancing. She blinked, which means, I suspect, that Hermione Lodge is ready to negotiate.

Veronica: I just wanted to tell you how moved I was by your poem. It felt like you were tapping into something pretty dark, but also pretty real. And I don’t want to overstep But is everything all right, Ethel?
Ethel: Things at home aren’t great. My mom and dad are fighting, but they won’t tell me about what. It’s like this really bad thing is happening, and there’s nothing that I can do to stop it.
Veronica: Like you’re trapped in a slow-motion car crash. Yeah, I know the feeling. Listen, Ethel. It sounds like you need some cheering up. Which happens to be a Veronica Lodge specialty. So If you’re free tomorrow, come over for lunch and pampering. Kevin will be there. Yeah, come on, it’ll be fun. Just please say yes.
Ethel: All right, sure.
Veronica: Yeah?
Ethel: Yeah.
Veronica: Great, I’ll see you tomorrow.
Kevin: So What was that about?
Veronica: Ethel’s poem was a cry for help if I ever heard one, the likes of which I vowed never to ignore, not after-
Kevin: Uh-oh. Do we need to sit down?
Veronica: Okay, so, last year at Spence, my best friend Katy and I kind of terrorized this girl, Paige. One time, we made her drink gutter water.
Kevin: Ew! Why?
Veronica: Because she was there. Because she was a misfit and we were class-A brutal bitches. Anyway, by December, Paige couldn’t take it anymore-
Kevin: Oh, my God, did you drive her to suicide?
Veronica: What? No. But she did transfer schools. And went into therapy. So now? If I can make Ethel Muggs’ life a little better, even for one afternoon, I’m going to do it.

Hermione: Veronica, there’s something that you need to know – about that Muggs girl.
Veronica: What?
Hermione: Her father, Manfred Muggs, invested with your dad. And it’s probable that they lost a lot when your father was arrested. Maybe everything.
Veronica: Mom, they’re being kicked out of their house, their home.
Hermione: Well, from what I’ve been told, the Muggs family is going to testify against your father.
Veronica: They should. How many, Mom? How many families like Ethel’s?
Hermione: It’s the risk of doing business with your father.
Veronica: Could Mr. Andrews lose everything, for doing business with you and Dad?
Hermione: I’m not sure.

Veronica: Ethel? Mrs. Muggs? There’s something I need to tell you. My name is Veronica Lodge. My father is-
Mrs. Muggs: Hiram Lodge. And you’re showing your face here? Ethel: Mom, she’s my friend.
Mrs. Muggs: She’s not your friend, honey. Her father is a criminal.
He’s the reason Dad did this to himself.
Ethel: Ronnie? Is that true?
Veronica: Yes. And I am so sorry. I wish I could do something.
Mrs. Muggs: “Sorry” isn’t good enough. You want to do something? Tell the truth. Your father is ruining lives. He deserves to sit behind bars for the rest of his miserable life.

Veronica: Anyway, enough about my drama. Betty, you were saying something about Jughead’s birthday?
Betty: Yeah. Just that Mr. Jones told me Jughead’s never had a birthday party. Let’s have one for him. Like, a low-key surprise party.
Archie: Uh, no, no.
Veronica: That’s a fantastic idea.
Archie: Jughead doesn’t like his birthday.
Kevin: Everybody says that, nobody means it.
Archie: Jughead is a lone wolf.
Veronica: Okay. Ignoring the negativity. Betty, you know me, – any excuse to wear a cute party dress.

Hermione: What’s all this?
Veronica: Dad’s files from the basement. Mom, Archie overhead Mr. Blossom say that he’s the one responsible for putting Dad in jail. So I did some digging. And found this spreadsheet of monthly payments from Blossom Maple Farms to Lodge Industries until about five months ago, when they stopped.
Hermione: When your father was arrested.
Veronica: There’s more. The payments, which are significant, by the way, have been happening for 75 years. That’s a ton of money. What if Clifford implicated Daddy to get out of paying the monthly fee? I wouldn’t put it past the wig-wearing monster. We should tell Dad’s lawyers.
Hermione: Well, hold on. If Clifford did orchestrate your father’s arrest, people might think that Hiram had something to do with Jason Blossom’s murder. Ronnie? You got to let this go.
Veronica: You don’t think Dad could, in any way, be responsible for Jason’s murder, do you?
Hermione: No, honey, look, don’t make things worse by asking questions that no one else is asking. And please, God, do not bring the Blossoms into this. And that includes Cheryl.

Veronica: Mrs. Cooper?
Alice: Yes?
Veronica: I understand why Betty doesn’t want to get in the middle of this. But I don’t feel the same loyalty for the Jones family that she does.
Alice: I’m listening.
Veronica: Helping you find out the truth FP will help me find out the truth about my dad. And whether or not he hired FP to kill Jason.
Alice: What exactly are you saying, Veronica?
Veronica: I’m saying, if you want to go after Jughead’s dad, Mrs. Cooper, I’m in.

Archie: Not that I’m complaining, Ronnie, but why the change of heart?
Veronica: Because I’m hoping you’ll say yes to the favor I’m about to ask you.
Archie: Hey, if it’s gonna help you, then I’m in.
Veronica: Remember when you heard Clifford Blossom say he put my dad in jail? Well, I think my dad may have gone after Jason as payback. He’s very eye-for-an-eye, and I have a strong suspicion he hired Jughead’s dad to do his dirty work. Also, FP’s done my dad’s bidding before. He trashed the drive-in.
Archie: It’s a big leap to go from vandalism to murder, Ronnie.
Veronica: I talked it over with Mrs. Cooper, and-
Archie: She’s a part of this? Are you nuts?
Veronica: She’s gonna keep FP busy while we search his trailer to find anything that links FP to Jason. Or, more importantly, FP to my dad.
Archie: We should just talk to Jughead.
Veronica: No, what if he’s protecting FP or tries to warn him?
Archie: He’s our friend, Ronnie.
Veronica: My dad is this close to being released, and my mom’s in denial and she’s ready to welcome him back with open arms. Me, I’d like to know exactly who we’re inviting back into our lives.
Archie: Look, Veronica, I really wanna help you, I do, and I definitely don’t want Jughead to get hurt, but I’m telling you, FP’s cleaned up his act.
Veronica: I hope you’re right about that, Archie, because if not, Jughead could get dragged into something very messy and very dangerous.

Veronica: You and Betty went on a manhunt without me? I’ll come meet you.
Archie: We’re at the bus station, but it’s shut down for the night.
Veronica: What’s the one place in town that’s open 24 hours? Hint, we were just there.

Hermione: You and Archie… Getting closer?
Veronica: Maybe, why do you ask?
Hermione: Your father and I made Fred an offer to buy out the SoDale contract, but Fred is still on the fence about it. I was hoping maybe you could talk to Archie. Maybe he could convince Fred to sell?
Veronica: Yeah, sure, Mom. No problem. I’ll just sexually manipulate Archie into doing my bidding.
Hermione: As long as you’re in control.
Veronica: Oh, my God, Mom, I was kidding. Also, why are you trying to push Fred out of this deal? He’s the only person in this town who was loyal. Who was good to you.
Hermione: Your father is coming back. He and Fred? They will not get along.

Veronica: Betty… I just testified on my father’s behalf and helped his chances of going free.
Betty: That’s good news, right?
Veronica: My dad hired Jughead’s dad to trash the drive-in. And given recent events, it’s not inconceivable that he might’ve hired him to do other jobs. Like go after Jason as payback for what the Blossoms did to him. I want to help with your investigation. I want the truth. Whatever it is.

Cheryl: Speaking of hags Veronica, it’s so devastating to me that your mother has to sink to such unspeakable lows just to keep those knockoff Hermes bags on your arm. What’s next, selling her hair extensions?
Veronica: My mom’s a waitress, Cheryl, not Fantine. And your faux concern reeks of ulterior motive. What is it?
Cheryl: Only to remind you of your place in this school, nay, the town’s social hierarchy.
Veronica: Threatened much? Don’t worry. You may be a stock character from a ’90s teen movie, but I’m not. And what does any of this have to do with my mom being a waitress?
Cheryl: It’s just that I saw her talking to a Southside Serpent last night, in the alley behind Pop’s. They were having an extremely heated, intimate discussion. See for yourself.
Veronica: Who or what is a Southside Serpent?
Kevin: They’re this gang of bikers who pretty much stays on the south side of town. And thank God, ’cause they’re sort of dangerous. Drug dealers and petty thieves.
Veronica: Then what was my mom doing with one of them?

Archie: It’s not what you’re thinking.
Betty: So, it’s platonic?
Archie: Okay, well, maybe it’s a little like what you’re thinking
Betty: Archie. Are you and Ms. Grundy, like, together, like, romantically?
Veronica: Oh, my God. You and your music teacher are having an affair?
Archie: We are together. Look, I know that sounds bad, but-
Veronica: Bad? It sounds scandalous.
Betty: It sounds like jail time to me. Illegal!
Archie: Betty, don’t go there.
Betty: Oh, I’m already there.
Archie: Ronnie, a little help here?
Veronica: I mean, technically, Betty’s right. And ethically… Well, what is Grundy to you, anyway, your girlfriend? Your booty tutor?
Archie: I don’t know, I don’t know what to call her.
Betty: You said you were at the river alone. You lied to Sheriff Keller, to all of us. Why? To protect her?
Archie: She believed in me when no one else did.
Veronica: Okay, we get it.
Archie: Betty, say something, please.

Veronica: What’s happening out there? Do we know? Is it about me?
Jughead: I have a strong inkling, and no. Also, I’d let it go.
Veronica: Yes, but you’re you, and I’m me. You do you, girl, I’ll be back.
Kevin: What was it like before she got here? I honestly cannot remember.